Nigeru
by Hidari
Summary: Story is set after third impact. What happens to Asuka and Shinji after they wake up on the beach? AxS WAFF. Complete.
1. Prologue: Not Alone

Standard Disclaimers Apply

baka, the baka- idiot, the idiot; stupid (as in 'Kenshin no baka!' and 'Baka Shinji!')  
nigeru- run

* * *

**Evangelion: _Nigeru_  
Prologue - Not Alone  
**09.19.2005  
**

* * *

**

Shinji woke up to an earth gone mad. He gazed desolately at the shattered world -- and felt despair clutch at his heart.

_Useless. I'm useless. This is my fault. Useless coward. _He crawled to where Asuka lay beside him and stared at her battered and bandaged form. _No! No more. Useless coward. Run away. Mustn't run away. No more. Aaaarghhh! _

And succumbing to all his pent up rage and frustration, Shinji curled his fingers around Asuka's throat and squeezed.

_Asuka. Asuka._ He chanted like a mantra. _Are you Asuka?_ He would know soon enough. Her eyes were open but he could not look into them. Instead he kept his gaze fixed on his hands.

Then he felt it, a hand on his cheek. A caress. Soft and almost loving.

_No!_ His mind screamed. Shinji shuddered and willed his hands to stop. _No. _He whispered brokenly. _No… _he felt his tears fall.

Ikari Shinji, Third Child, pilot of Evangelion Unit 01 sat straddled across Asuka Langley Sohryu, bent over and trembling.

_It's not real after all._

"Disgusting."

It took several seconds for the single word to penetrate Shinji's numbed mind. When it finally did, he looked up to find blue eyes glaring angrily at him.

"Asuka?" he whispered.

"Baka Shinji! What were you trying to do?" Asuka whispered hoarsely. She felt weak but absolutely furious, and she wanted to take her own hands and squeeze the idiot's neck till he turned blue.

"Asuka?" Shinji repeated stupidly. He had staggered back from her and lay sprawled on the sand near her feet.

"Well?" The baka seemed unable to move and probably had no idea he was supposed to be helping her up, Asuka thought heatedly. "Shinji…" she snarled, "If you don't come here this instant I'm going to kill you."

When Shinji still made no move to comply and instead sat there opening and shutting his mouth like a drowned fish, Asuka felt self-pity and frustration overwhelm her. "Shinji! Come here you spineless twit!" She coughed and felt the mortifying tears leak out.

It was the tears that brought Shinji out of his shock. _What are you afraid of?_ He asked himself. _That it's not Asuka? That it really is Asuka? _Pushing those confusing thoughts aside, Shinji did the bravest thing he ever did in his life and crept to the distraught girl's side.

She was rubbing her eyes with her clenched fists, furiously muttering "Stupid Shinji!" between sobs and hiccups. Shinji stopped beside Asuka, not knowing what to do.

"You're supposed to hold me!" She sniffled at him grabbing his shirt and pulling him close. "Hold me!" She ordered and felt Shinji's arms wrap tentatively around her.

That did it for Asuka. She wept into his chest and felt his arms tighten around her. "I hate you, Invincible Third Child!" She snorted in derision and felt him stiffen and start to pull away. Instinctively, Asuka tightened her hold on him. "No! Don't you dare! I'm sick of your whining and cowardly ways!"

"A-asuka…" Shinji said, he had stopped trying to pull away and instead hid his face in Asuka's hair, his forehead leaning weakly on her bent head. "I have no idea why you get angry at me. I- I don't want you angry but… you never tell me."

"I say it all the time." Asuka answered. "It's because you're a spineless twit. I know you must care for me even if it's just as your jerk-off fantasy so for once in your life take it like a man and just hold me and don't run away!" She muttered angrily sobbing into his chest. "I don't want to be alone…" she whispered so softly Shinji almost didn't hear it.

_I don't want to be alone. _

_Okay._

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ I just watched the whole series again and this was just begging to be written. I think the first chapter is actually drama and WAFF in a weird sort of way but the rest of the story is mostly WAFF... 


	2. My Hand

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I don't own Shinji-kun or Asuka.

**

* * *

Evangelion: ****_Nigeru  
_Chapter One - My Hand  
**10.19.2005_**

* * *

**_

"Let's go! What are you doing?" Asuka stalked over to where Shinji was standing, looking far past the sea of LCL to the orange glowed horizon beyond.

"How many do you think will come back?" He asked softly, without turning to the girl beside him.

"Not everyone." Asuka said watching his face. "But enough... those who want to." She added, upon considering the look in his eyes.

The children had stayed by the beach until dawn was almost upon them. Earlier, Asuka had wanted to head into what was left of Tokyo-3 regardless of her weakened state and newly-healed injuries; however, with a lot of pleading from Shinji, she agreed to wait for daylight and settled instead on endlessly harrying the boy to relate the events that led up to their present state. Hoping to distract Asuka long enough so that she may recover somewhat, Shinji had obeyed.

"Hah! Instrumentality, Third Impact!" Asuka looked balefully at the massive head dissolving slowly into the scarlet liquid. "And you say Misato and Wondergirl told you this," she snorted then added softly, almost to herself, "A higher evolutionary form? But... we spend so much time trying to find ourselves, why would we want... to lose it all again in the end?"

She paused for a moment, letting the silence stretch between them. "Shinji, why did it fail?"

"Um… because… be-because… I wanted to come back."

Asuka stared at the boy unaccountably turning red beside her. She watched avidly as the flush that started from his ears spread rapidly to his neck. Her eyes widened a fraction and she felt sudden warmth in her cheeks. Turning on her heel, Asuka seized a fistful of Shinji's shirt and dragged him away. "I'm glad. Now let's go."

* * *

The LCL was everywhere and Shinji and Asuka had to literally scale the hillside to find a path away from it. After hours of grueling hike, they finally found themselves on a small plateau overlooking Tokyo-3. 

"Baka Shinji! There's nothing there!" Asuka accused, falling down on her knees.

Shinji gazed at the ruined city morosely and felt an inevitable urge to apologize.

"I'm sorry."

He wondered why he couldn't feel more pain at the moment and thought it was probably because Asuka had fallen into old habits as soon as they had set off. Somehow, all her name-calling and ear boxing had produced in Shinji a warm tingly feeling that he couldn't quite squash. Not that he tried very hard.

Or perhaps it was the handholding?

Shinji averted his eyes from the destruction. A small portion of his brain recognized that considering everything; the damage to the city wasn't all that bad.

_What's up with the handholding? _He mulled even as his eyes fell on their still joined hands. He turned to the wailing Asuka intent on asking her when she interrupted him with a tug to the ground and a well aimed bonk on the head.

"Stop apologizing! You're not supposed to be sorry!"

"Okay, okay," he grimaced, hand to his head and one eye closed in pain. "You don't have to hit me so hard."

"Hah! Maybe if I hit you every time you apologize for nothing you'd lose the habit."

"But you hit me all the time!"

"Because you apologize all the time!"

"That's not true!"

"It is, too!" Asuka shrieked dropping his hand and pointing a reproving finger at his nose.

"Yeah, okay, you're right." Shinji sighed at the finger, cross-eyed and deflated. He was surprised when the finger turned suddenly into a palm and gently cupped his cheek.

"Uh-huh, I am always right. Not to worry, for I, Asuka Langley Sohryu will turn Shinji-kun into a man with balls – er, spine of steel who never apologizes!" She declared, voice rising and suddenly on her feet, eyes with twin balls of fire.

"A-asuka… I don't think…"

"Don't think, just do!"

"I mean, what if I can't…?"

"It doesn't matter if you can't," she intoned imperiously. She once again snatched the boy's hand and yanked him up, "I, Asuka Langley Sohryu, will take care of baka Shinji until he never feels the need to apologize again! Mwahahahaha!"

She stopped cackling when she noticed them standing quite close together. "You're standing too close, pervert." She pointed out coolly.

Shinji hastily took a step back and raised their clasped hands in mute question.

"Is there anything wrong with my soft and beautiful hands?" She asked eyebrow raised and twitching at his audacity.

"N-no…"

"Then what?" Asuka asked sharply, "You don't want to hold my hand?"

"I d-do, b-but…"

"Pervert!" She screeched in his ear then abruptly turned and started pulling him downhill. "You're so slow, hurry, hurry, why can't you move faster…" Asuka ranted continuously, hiding her rosy face from the boy she was hauling behind her.

_Gah! Move faster she says, I'm having enough trouble as it is!_ Shinji thought as he scrabbled to keep his footing. "Oi, A-asuka! Slow down..." he panted behind her.

"Useless baka, you're too slow!"

"A-asuka... I... mean it... either... slow... eek... down... or let... g- ack!"

"Ehhh? Shinji!"

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ What? Do you think its OOC? But I can't help it! Uwaaaa! I stayed up all night reading all those wonderful Shinji-kun/Asuka stories and this is the result; I'm now in a waffy mood! 

baka- stupid, idiot  
oi- hey  
nigeru- run


	3. Be Me

Standard Disclaimers Apply

All hail the Shinji/Asuka Waff muse! Thank you to all those who reviewed. I'm just so glad some people actually like my stuff. There's nothing like a review to get one going. Arigato gozaimasu!

* * *

**Evangelion: _Nigeru_  
Chapter Two - Be Me  
**11.05.2005  
**

* * *

**_  
What's wrong?  
Nothing.  
Nothing?  
I am nothing.  
Hmphh, do you hate yourself?  
No.  
You do realize that what you accept… becomes your truth…?  
Yes, I know that now. I am nothing… but…  
But?  
I still wish to be… myself.  
Hah! It's about time. Are you ready for the truth?  
Yes.  
You are Ikari Shinji, also the Third Child and pilot of Unit 01. Why did you want to run away?  
I was afraid. I don't like pain.  
Yet you stayed. Why?  
It would have been more painful to run. It was much easier to do as I was told.  
But you did run eventually.  
I hurt a friend…  
Then why did you come back?  
Because I had to, I had no choice.  
Hey, we're being honest here. There is always a choice.  
Oops, sorry, I'm not used to this yet.  
That's all right. Let's try that again. Why did you come back?  
Because I had to, I wanted to protect everyone.  
Wasn't that what you were doing in the first place?  
No. I stayed for the wrong reasons. I came back for the right one.  
And now?  
I still don't like pain.  
Ahh, but pain is necessary.  
Feh! Do you have to rub it in…?_

Lost in the deep maze of his subconscious, Ikari Shinji thought he heard a voice chuckle humorously._ Pain… a life without pain… is not possible… _

Light. He could see light behind his closed eyes.

Voice. Not the one he vaguely remembered talking to just a few minutes ago though this voice seemed familiar too. Female, he identified. She sounds… concerned yet… royally pissed? _Oh shit! _Shinji thought, coming abruptly awake.

"Shinji! Are you all right? Shinji… Shinji! Shinji-kun! Please wake up…"

_Dammit! That hurt!_ Shinji thought crossly. He was plastered on the hard ground, stones digging into his back; feeling like Unit 02 had just stomped on him. "Arghh…" he groaned out loud still unable to move or open his eyes.

"Shinji! You're alive!"

_Of course I'm alive, does she think I'll let a little fall like this kill me? _

"Shinji? Shinji?"

"Hnnn…" was all he could manage. _Yeah, yeah… hold on a minute…_ _ohhh, the pain_… _darn head won't stop throbbing. _Shinji's senses were gradually coming back to him. With it came the awareness that something soft was cradling his head. He cracked open an eye. "A-asuka?" She was carefully brushing the hair out of his face and looked upset.

"You fell!" She whispered.

"I know that." He whispered back.

"Che! I want to hit you right now you know. What took you so long to wake up?" She growled at him, resisting the urge to do violence on the already injured boy. She had been beside herself with fear the whole time he was out; she decided he would pay for it later.

"W-what do you mean?" Shinji asked alarmed at the anger that quickly replaced her worried look. _Now you've done it, run away while you can boy, _said the voice in his head.

"You've been knocked out for a good ten minutes, baka!" She said in a deceptively mild voice.

"Sorry." Shinji mumbled before he could stop himself. "Aiyaa, don't hit me please!" He cringed back in reflex bringing his arms up before his face.

"Shinji, I can't hit you now. You might already have a concussion."

"Really?" Shinji answered hopefully. He decided he ought to remove himself from his comfortable position in Asuka's lap before she changed her mind. He hurriedly rolled away from Asuka, quickly moving to a prone position with legs ready to hoist himself up. Then the pain hit him and Shinji fell on his behind, head in his hands and eyes squeezed shut. _Damn, that was a mistake_. The sudden movement had aggravated the throbbing in Shinji's head and tiny stars were popping colorfully before his closed eyes.

"Does it hurt very much?" Asuka asked, sounding really concerned this time.

"Yeah, give me a few minutes." He murmured. He felt her settle herself beside him and gently pull him back down on her lap.

"Asuka…?" Shinji began to ask, then stopped, confused.

Long ago Shinji had learned to stop second guessing Asuka's motives. He tried once but it only resulted in a colossal headache much like the one he had now. The insults, the bops on the head, the kiss, the occasional calls for his attention, and most recently, the handholding; Shinji knew he would go crazy if he tried to make sense of it all. Dare he hope? Nope, he couldn't possibly! No siree! He didn't think his heart could take all the crazy seesawing it would have to do if he deluded himself into thinking Asuka's actions meant something. So he didn't, and just went with the flow. _Wimp_. He told himself.

"Just don't go to sleep. Do you have a headache? Dizziness? Is there a ringing in your ears? Are you having problems with your vision? Do you feel like vomiting? What's your name? What's my name? Where are we? When are we? Are you having problems with your balance?" Asuka shot out, looking down at Shinji earnestly and getting clinical on him.

"Huh? Ah, er- yes, no, no, no, no. Shinji and Asuka. Erm, Tokyo-3 after er - whatever you want to call _that_, and um... I wouldn't know until I stand up." Shinji answered. As far as he could tell, nothing seemed broken, just a few scratches and bruises and this infernal pain in his head.

Asuka fixed him with a stare that should have made him squirm. Instead, the warm tingly feeling Shinji had been having the whole morning came back full force, overriding his headache and causing Shinji to stare at the beautiful redhead looking down at him, eyes still stormy but full of anxiety at the same time. A wave of memories assaulted Shinji and he recalled the exact moment when he had admitted to himself that he cared for Asuka.

'_Look, look, Shinji! Back roll entry!' Asuka announced, backflipping into the swimming pool looking amazing in a skimpy striped bikini. 'Look, look, Shinji! Giant stroke entry!' She called out, striking a pose in her type-D suit before she was lowered into the magma. 'Shinji! Baka, you're pushing yourself too hard.' She said in relief when he caught her before she could fall into the volcanic abyss._

Shinji had not planned on doing anything about his feelings for Asuka. He was long past denial. His heart was irrevocably hers, whether she wanted it or not. Still, he much preferred another fight to the death with all the angels rather than let Asuka know how he felt.

So what was he doing reaching up a hand and wiping a tear from her eye?

* * *

_Hmphh, it figures. The idiot would apologize the minute he's awake._ Asuka groused to herself as she reached out still shaking hands to help Shinji lie back down on her lap. _Well, at least he's awake_. She frowned down on him and raised a questioning eyebrow when he said her name looking confused. She tried to recall everything she had ever read about serious blows to the head. 

"Just don't go to sleep. Do you have a headache? Dizziness? Is there a ringing in your ears? Are you having problems with your vision? Do you feel like vomiting? What's your name? What's my name? Where are we? When are we? Are you having problems with your balance?"

"Huh? Ah, er- yes, no, no, no, no. Shinji and Asuka. Erm, Tokyo-3 after er - whatever you want to call _that_, and um... I wouldn't know until I stand up."

_He does look okay,_ she thought as she carefully studied his face. _He seems a bit pale and that cut over his eye looks nasty, I need to clean that soon_… Her throat constricted when she remembered how Shinji wrestled his hand from hers so he wouldn't pull her with him when he fell. _Baka, Shinji! You fell so far and… and … you were lying so still… for a moment there I thought you were_… _you were_… _stop it! Stop thinking about it!_

She noticed Shinji reaching up a hand and felt him gently wipe something from her eye. _Ehehe? No way am I crying in front of stupid Shinji!_ Asuka opened her mouth to give a stinging put down but forgot herself when she looked into Shinji's eyes.

Uncertainty, concern, tenderness - passion. It was all there.

She heard her own breath catch and felt her heart speed up, thumping loudly in her breast, a combination of guilt, worry and relief for the boy in her lap squeezing it tight.

Asuka saw Shinji push himself up on one arm, a red stain marring his cheeks. Inexorably, she found herself being drawn to him. Lowering her head, Asuka closed the distance between them until she could feel Shinji's breath on her lips.

Her eyes fluttered close, her lips puckered up, _this is it_, she thought breathlessly as she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Asuka opened her eyes to find Shinji's flushed face inches from her own. Indecision and shock were etched on his features and he was trying hard not to breathe.

"Coward!" Asuka yelled the first word that popped into her head. "Pervert," she added for good measure. She stood up so quickly Shinji almost fell to the ground again. _Oh, the humiliation! What was I thinking? Shinji you moron!_ She glared down at the pathetic excuse for a boy at her feet, face rosy at what almost happened, or didn't happen, and then turned and marched away.

* * *

A/N: 

Oh, my bad! I just love the Shinji/Asuka dynamics, don't you? I'm still hungry for SxA stories and I've stayed up all night once again, reading fanfics! I think my brain is now mush, but I'm happy. (smiles drunkenly) Anyway, I came across this fantastic Shinji/Asuka story written in 2002 entitled "Upside Down" by Firestar9mm. Ahh, such wonderful descriptions! It was love at first sight.


	4. The Way We Were

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Eva is not mine.

**_

* * *

_Evangelion: ****_Nigeru  
_Chapter Three - The Way We Were  
**11.14.2005

* * *

"Wait, Asuka!" Shinji called out as his head again exploded in pain. He had caught himself before he could collapse but he was still incapable of running after the rapidly retreating redhead. 

Shinji knew he was a wimp, but he wasn't stupid. Something told him he had to go after her.

"Asuka, will you stop for a moment and wait for me? Please!" Shinji said, wincing as he forced his eyes to focus and his feet to move, despite his head feeling like it was being cleaved like a watermelon. "I'm sorry, ok? Don't go." The words spilled out before he could stop them, the need plain in his voice. It trembled in the air halting Asuka's steps.

_Don't go. _

The words were familiar to Shinji. He had used them more than once before, always with similar results. More pain. More rejection.

Shinji halted, gasping, right in front of her. He stood bent forward with both hands on his knees, willing the world to stop tilting for an instant.

He knew he was a pervert. He knew he was screwed up. He knew he shouldn't have even tried. But he had wanted to so very much, so he almost did.

He had been so close he could have counted the light smattering of freckles on her nose. But, at the last minute, an image of a comatose Asuka and his own demented act had flashed through the boy's mind, stopping him. No, he could not, he told himself resolutely. He would not violate her again.

Besides, she'd make his life hell if she realized how he truly felt. No need to give the girl he loved more ammunition against him.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"I am."

"Hmph, do you even know why you should be?"

"I… do…"

"Really?" Asuka scrutinized Shinji's face, trying to see if he honestly knew why she was angry. He looked genuinely remorseful, guilty even, which was good. She scowled at him nose-to-nose and almost snorted at his stricken look. Almost.

She couldn't read him.

When she had first met Shinji, Asuka judged him a quiet, colorless boy who always did as he was told. A doormat, who could be stepped on, ordered around and taken advantage of. He was so obliging, especially to her, that she held him in contempt.

She could not understand how such an uninteresting and gutless creature as he, could possibly be the famed Third Child.

It was true she could rile him up. There were countless angry outbursts from Shinji when he could no longer take Asuka's taunting. But on the whole, he always allowed himself to be railroaded into doing exactly as she wanted. Pathetic.

How could someone like him be better than her? He was an idiot. He didn't even know why he was fighting! So Asuka had seethed.

But first impressions weren't usually right. The Second Child soon discovered - much to her chagrin. For the image of Shinji that she clung to, eroded each and every time she saw him fight. So much, so that by the time the pilot returned after his battle with Zeruel, the fourteenth, Asuka's impression of a weak and whiny Third Child had dissolved like Shinji in the LCL soup.

And to top everything - she had dreamed. Oh yes, _how_ she had dreamed...

In that endless moment between her ill-fated battle and the return of consciousness, vague images of her mother - and of Shinji - had filled her mind. Ghostly voices, insubstantial, clear, had whispered comfortingly in her ear, _I'm here._

Then she had woken up to Shinji's face - and the pressure on her windpipe.

"Asuka?" the object of her ruminations broke in hesitantly. "Are you all right?"

She had been so lost in her thoughts for the last few minutes, that she was unaware that Shinji had stepped back and straightened up, and that she was now frowning down at his knees.

"Whatever, dummkopf!" she said, unconsciously reverting to German and giving a long-suffering sigh. With a sidelong glance at Shinji, Asuka started following the meandering path they were currently on.

Her reason was shot, and it was the idiot's entire fault. First that heart-stopping minute when she thought he had broken his neck, then that disastrous second when they almost kissed.

Was that the truth she had seen in his eyes? Or had she seen what she had seen, only because it was… what she wanted? When had he become important to her? Why did she care for his feelings this time?

So many questions, Asuka chided herself, clamping down on the conflicting emotions that assailed her. Now was not the time. She would have to sort herself out first chance she got. For now, she didn't want to be alone again, so baka Shinji would have to do.

He was walking along beside her, extremely curious as to what she was thinking, but wisely keeping silent. He didn't want to risk another flare up from the volatile redhead.

"This road goes on for about another mile, then we should be able to see the first of the shelters. We can spend the night there," Asuka pointed out after a lengthy silence, deliberately increasing her strides.

Shinji matched his pace to hers, "That is, if they haven't been totaled." Then he added gloomily, "What if nobody comes back?"

"Have a little faith! Mein Gott, how did you ever decide to abort instrumentality with a mind view like that?"

"I honestly don't know," Shinji replied testily. "I'm sorry, I'm working on it, ok?"

"Hmphh, hurry it up a little. I can't wait for you forever." Asuka countered, yielding to the same impulse she'd been having all morning and stretching out a hand.

Shinji considered the hand Asuka held out; it was much smaller than his own and delicately boned, but imperious and demanding, nonetheless. He could tell by the droop of Asuka's shoulders that she was tired. At least, he reasoned, he could help her without being too obvious. Moreover, she might feel insulted if he refused. He had been clobbered enough today, he wasn't sure his skull could take any more.

Shinji took the proffered limb and pulled a little on it to slow her down. "Stop complaining, Asuka, my head still hurts. And don't walk too fast."

"Baka Shinji, are you ordering me around now?" she retorted, annoyed but also secretly pleased at getting a rise out of him.

"No, Asuka, you know I wouldn't dare."

* * *

_Aboveground, NERV HQ_

Human instrumentality failed on the day of third impact. Once again, to be sentient was an option. Those who wished to - could again exist.

And so across the earth it happened...

Souls with family, friends and other strong ties; souls that lingered in between, unwilling to shed earthly bonds; souls of little children, teenagers, and adults alike, found themselves back in corporeal bodies, regaining consciousness in the light of an orange sun.

_I'm alive?_

Katsuragi Misato opened her eyes, a sensation of unexplained exhilaration coursing through her frame. She lay there for several minutes while her brain ran a systems check of her body: a bit weak and dizzy, probably from blood loss; plenty of freshly healed bullet wounds; and a few old scars; not perfectly healthy but definitely alive. Mustering enough strength, Misato sat up and took stock of her surroundings.

People were everywhere, sprawled this way and that, around the rubble that was once NERV headquarters. She could see Maya helping a dazed Ritsuko up. Further away, Shigeru and Makoto were hoisting men onto their shoulders and assisting them to where other NERV personnel had gathered to sit on the sidewalk. On a fallen slab, a few meters from the crowd, Misato spied Commander Fuyutski nursing his head.

Misato got herself up on shaky legs to try to find some answers. "Commander, may I ask what happened here?" she puffed, taking a seat on the slab without permission.

"I don't really know, Major. But it seems like, whatever happened, the majority have survived. Almost everyone who was in HQ has been accounted for, including the hostiles sent by SEELE."

"What about the children?"

"We haven't heard from them, Major. And I haven't seen them anywhere around here."

Thus, people spent the first day after third impact searching for survivors and putting some semblance of order to the chaos surrounding them. A great many who joined the effort were driven by fear for the fate of their loved ones. But as the day progressed, heavy hearts gradually became lighter as it became clear that even those who had been mortally wounded, were now whole and alive.

When darkness fell, people everywhere settled down where they could, ready for a well-earned rest. And as one by one, they dropped off to sleep, unmindful of hard beds and empty bellies, one thought pervaded their consciousness: I'm alive.

* * *

baka- idiot  
dummkopf- idiot  
baka Shinji- stupid Shinji  
Mein Gott- My God  
nigeru- run

_Author's Notes: _Sorry for the short chapters in this fic. I realized that compared to others, my word count is pathetically small. Writing this chapter wasn't half as much fun as writing chapters two and three. Too serious, I think. But, ah well, it had to be written. I'm not trying to write anything bigger than WAFF but there are some issues between Shinji and Asuka that need to be addressed before they can get together. Those who have watched EoE probably know what I'm talking about. Also, the question of who was going to come back was asked so I decided to include my own humble opinion of what _could_ have happened after Shinji decided to stop instrumentality.

Once again, thank you for reading and thank you for the reviews. Domo arigato gozaimasu!


	5. Old Friends

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Evangelion is not mine.

And so the story continues... it's not angst, just WAFF, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much I did writing it.

* * *

**Evangelion: ****_Nigeru  
_Chapter Four - Old Friends  
**11.20.2005  
_**

* * *

**_  
A cold wind swirled around the ruined shelter, gusting in through shattered walls and blowing briskly on the occupants' solitary fire. About a dozen people gathered around it, huddled under blankets, and chatting about the day's events as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

"Grandfather, did you watch the battle…?"

"Yes child, after the wall got smashed…"

"It was exciting! I almost got crushed when the roof blew away!"

"Really? But you're safe now, hm? My arm was broken too, but it's mended somehow…"

"Everyone seems to be okay. I was scared for a while... I stopped watching when it fell…"

"The red one? Yes, I couldn't watch that too… it looked… too painful…"

"Do you think they'll be okay?"

"Who?"

"Them…"

In a corner of the room, firelight shining on their tired faces, Shinji and Asuka slept with their backs against the cracked wall, sharing a blanket.

The old man smiled as he recalled the show these two had put on a few hours earlier.

They had argued about the blanket. Only one could be spared for them and the lad wanted her to have it. Although the night was chilly, he insisted it was warm enough for him to be comfortable by the fire. Of course, harshly whispering that she didn't want to be alone, the girl refused. Fists were brandished, names were called, and the dispute degenerated into a shouting match.

It was a relief to everyone watching when the old man's wife stepped in to settle the matter. She gently guided the girl to the warmest corner of the room, sat her down by the wall and put the blanket over her. Then she motioned for the boy to sit by the girl's side. When they were settled thus, she crossed her arms and gave both of them a hard look. "Shinji-kun, Asuka-chan, GO TO SLEEP!"

Shinji withered before the old lady's piercing stare. He gave Asuka one last apologetic look then, guilty and exhausted, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. His last thoughts were, I'm sorry Asuka… it's not that I don't want to sleep with you…

Asuka scowled at the baka. She wondered how the idiot could fall asleep so easily. No way was she sleeping alone in this place. Craftily, she closed her eyes, forced her muscles to relax, and feigned sleep.

She cracked open an eye several minutes after she heard footsteps walk away. The rest of the room's occupants were settling down for the night, no one was paying attention to their little corner. Noiselessly, Asuka slid closer to Shinji's side. She lifted up the blanket and covered both of them with it. _See, I was right, it is big enough for us, much much better… now I can rest_, she thought smugly. She snuggled closer to the slumbering boy, propped her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes to sleep.

_We're the same._

The thought popped into her head.

_He understands me. _

It continued, causing her to open her eyes. Staring at Shinji's profile, the question suddenly presented itself to Asuka, _do I actually care for the baka? _

_No! _Was the initial vehement answer, and then… more truthfully, _I don't know... _

The last twenty-four hours were confusing for Asuka. She knew she used to despise Shinji and resent him, however, those feelings did not now explain many of the things that happened lately.

Why had her heart stopped when she thought he'd died, why did she blush each time she thought of him, and why oh why did she always have this inescapable urge to be closer to him?

_It's because I feel safe._

Her wayward mind supplied the answer. Unable to help herself, Asuka observed Shinji sleep, her eyes softened as she noted his troubled expression.

_And… I think… I understand him a little better, too. _

She stared at the boy some more as he shifted in his sleep, head lolling to the side and coming to rest on Asuka's hair. A vein started to throb at her temples.

_Baka-Shinji! I don't know what you were afraid of but you're going to pay for it tomorrow, _Asuka promised. Her lips curved into a contented smile, and closing her eyes, Asuka drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

"Oh, I think they'll be fine." The old man laughed, answering the child's question and nudging his wife to get her attention.

"My, my, such stubbornness! That boy is going to be mighty surprised come morning," she tutted, shaking her head in amusement.

x

Sunlight was shining on Shinji's closed lids. Sleepily, he tried to stretch, but found that he couldn't. "So comfortable," he thought fuzzily, nestling back closer to the warm weight on his side. Something was tickling his nose. Unhurriedly, Shinji opened his eyes - to a field of softly undulating red hair.

"When did she…?" he gasped in astonishment, almost jerking away. He controlled himself at the last second, and thought in disbelief, "How could I… not wake up…?" Asuka looked so peaceful slumbering at his side that Shinji relaxed, "I shouldn't get used to this," he scolded himself with a sigh.

That was when an amused voice suddenly intruded on his thoughts. "Breakfast is ready, son, it's not much, but I think you ought to wake your sweetheart up."

"Gah!" he almost jumped, "Huh? Er- yes, sir, right away, sir, sorry, sir."

"What for, foolish boy? We all see that she trusts you. Now, up! We all have a long day ahead of us."

x

x

x

Two false starts and several hushed spats later, and the children found themselves following a path through the damaged streets of Tokyo-3 to the Katsuragi residence. Asuka noticed that the more people they met on the way, the more cheerful Shinji became, so that by the time Misato's apartment door whooshed open and the two worn-out teenagers stumbled in, he seemed almost jolly.

"Tadaima! Misato-san…?"

"Misato!"

They heard a thump from her room then seconds later the shoji slid open.

"Shinji-kun? Asuka?"

"Ohayo, Misato-san! Are you o- eheh?"

"Uwaa, I need a shower! I smell so bad…"

Shinji and Asuka said simultaneously, only to be cut short by a weeping Misato and a bone-crushing bear hug.

x

x

x

Life at the Katsuragi household settled into its usual routine. Shinji would cook, Asuka would whine, Misato would drink and they would all eat breakfast. Shinji would feed Penpen, Asuka would lounge, and Misato would go off to work.

Only once did Shinji and Asuka go with Misato to Nerv HQ. It was on their second day home, and both were eager to say hello to everyone and see what was left of the Geofront.

It was fun in the beginning. Everyone was glad to see them safe. The few who realized what actually happened even thanked Shinji for what he had done.

But when Commander Fuyutski extended his condolences to Shinji, Commander Ikari having failed to return, Shinji's mood turned black.

The only thing that kept him from hurriedly leaving and taking a long walk was the sudden appearance of Misato's hand on his shoulder, and her pulling him away to join Asuka for lunch.

The children didn't go back after that first time, choosing instead to spend the remaining days before school resumed, recovering in the little apartment.

There were still the usual spats and the usual violence, but much of it had lost its heat. Asuka and Shinji still didn't talk about much, but both found this silence comfortable, and both were loathe to break it.

After six weeks, the school notice arrived.

TOKYO-3 PUBLIC 1ST JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL  
SCHOOL NOTIFICATION: CLASSES RESUME  
IKARI SHINJI  
SOHRYU ASUKA LANGLEY

It was time to see their friends and classmates again. Except for the angels, everything was finally going back to how it was before. Life would be normal again. Or so they thought.

x

x

x

_Tokyo-3 Public 1st Junior High School  
(one month into classes)_

"Shinji-kun, I brought you lunch today. Could you meet me after school?"

"No way, Ikari-kun already promised he'd meet me later!"

"That can't be, Shinji said he would go shopping with me this afternoon. I asked him the first day back and he said yes."

Shinji backpedaled warily from the girls of 2-D, cringing when they started arguing loudly amongst themselves. When he thought there was enough corridor between himself and the bickering girls, Shinji rapidly whirled around and scuttled off.

"Man, Shinji, that's scary." Touji remarked, shadowing the fleeing teenager as he dodged into their classroom.

Kensuke was in his chair tapping away on his laptop. "Oi, Shinji! The demon's been looking for you. Something about her lunch." He got up to stretch and then moseyed over to join the other two.

The door slid violently open and 2-D's girls marched right up to Shinji's desk.

"Shinji-kun, you can't meet all of us at the same time."

"Er, why not?" Shinji fidgeted, avoiding eye contact. "Kensuke, Touji, and I are going to the arcade after class, they wouldn't mind if you all came along."

A babble of buts met Shinji's announcement. On either side of him, Touji and Kensuke were laughing so hard they had to hold their stomachs.

"Ah, Shin-chan, that's not how its done," Kensuke snickered, "You have to decide, you can't string all of them along."

"I don't want to string anyone," Shinji mumbled, face turning red. "Can't I just say no?" He whispered to Touji.

"I told you before, you can, but then they'll all think you're a jerk." Touji whispered back, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Then what should I do?" he asked desperately, starting to feel being thought a jerk was immensely attractive. "I thought they were supposed to just send letters?" he squeaked, petrified as the girls converged on his table.

"They probably decided something more forceful was necessary since you've never answered any of them," Hikari commented into Shinji's ear. "Besides, you don't have a girlfriend and you're an Eva pilot. Now that the 'war' is over, you're fair game," she added, standing behind his chair to watch the fun.

"Well, well, well! What have we here?" a haughty voice remarked from the door. "Hikari," Asuka called out across the room, "Is the dummkopf there?"

"Right here," the class rep pointed to the space in front of her.

Asuka's eyebrows rose as she took in the angry pack of fangirls surrounding the space Hikari pointed out. She frowned at them then strode purposefully forward, cutting a swathe until she reached Shinji's chair. He was slouched low in his seat with only his eyes visible above the desk.

"Shinji-kuuunnn," she made her voice sugary, "you forgot to make our lunch."

She saw Shinji's forehead crease as his brows drew together, "It's supposed to be your turn today, Asuka."

"Is that so?" she asked ominously. Then looking fiercely over her shoulder Asuka barked, "Don't you have a class to go to?"

The mob looked at Asuka with wide-open mouths, then their faces fell, and their shoulders hunched, and they shuffled obediently out of 2-A's classroom.

Shinji blinked. _They're leaving?_ Then he smiled. _They're leaving!_ He gave an enormous sigh of relief and sat up in his chair grinning.

"Baka!" Asuka fumed, flicking Shinji hard on the forehead, "What was that all about?"

"Er, nothing. They all wanted to meet after class."

"Why didn't you just say no?" she hissed.

"I wanted to but Touji said I shouldn't," Shinji answered foolishly.

"Baka! Can't you make up your own mind?"

He ducked as Asuka gave him a whack on the head and meekly said, "Sorry."

"Aarghhh!" Asuka yelled in frustration, "Dammit Shinji, why don't you grow a spine?" She flounced off to her seat trying to pretend that Shinji didn't exist.

"Oi, Shinji, what just happened here?" Touji asked perplexed.

"Yeah, did we just see the demon _rescue_ you from certain death?" Kensuke scratched his head.

"Is there something we don't know?"

"Is there something you'd like to tell us?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Asuka's always been like that."

"Noooo…" the two stooges contradicted in sync, "You're acting more like a married couple than ever!" they cried, pointing accusing fingers at Shinji.

"Hey, Baka-Shinji!" Asuka called out from her chair. "Hikari and I are going to the arcade with you. So wait for us near the gate, ok?"

"S-sure, Asuka."

"Uwaaaa…!" wept both stooges, "Ikari's whipped…" they added together, tears cascading down both their faces.

* * *

Baka -Idiot; stupid; dummkopf  
Tadaima -I'm home  
Ohayo -Good morning (informal)  
Ohayo gozaimasu -Good morning (formal; polite)  
Oi -Hey  
Shoji- in Japanese architecture, sliding outer partition doors and windows made of a latticework wooden frame and covered with a tough, translucent white paper 


	6. New Story

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I own neither Shinji-kun nor Asuka...

**

* * *

Evangelion:_ Nigeru  
_Chapter Five - New Story  
**11.25.2005  
_**

* * *

**  
Honda Plaza, Tokyo-3 Mall_

"Ah, the smell, the noise, the people." Kensuke sang, eyes closed and rubbing his hands in glee. "Let's go friend, let us kick some ass and get ourselves some cash!" He whispered very softly to Touji.

They pulled Shinji from the UFO catchers, ignored the _Taiko no Tatsujin_ and stopped at the ancient fighting game the two stooges frequented. Kensuke had a lot of the latest games on his personal computer, network and otherwise, but this antiquated machine held a special place in both their hearts. Ever since they met Shinji, the perfect bait, that is.

The game was patterned after the early afterburners. Players could sit in a gyroscoped cockpit, select a giant biomechanical robot in the color of their choice, and pretend to blast attacking enemies from the sky. Shinji said it seemed familiar the first time he saw it.

There were eight cockpits, each centered in its own plasma screen dome, affording the pilot three hundred and sixty degrees of visuals; at the same time, a large flat screen monitor outside allowed passersby to watch the action. Players could choose to either fight in versus mode or finish a campaign as a team.

First, Aida and Suzuhara would play against each other, making sure they were sufficiently loud enough to attract attention. On a good day, a crowd would gather in less than ten minutes. Aida would then scan the throng for prospective victims and Suzuhara would issue the challenge to a three on three.

The only hitch in their otherwise flawless plan was Shinji. He would walk out on them the minute he realized he was getting set up. The two stooges found that keeping him in the dark for as long as possible always worked best.

It was easy enough to do. Shinji was the most naive of the bunch on the best of days and Kensuke, the intelligence behind it all, could be infinitely sneakier than he. Consequently, the Third Child found it exceedingly difficult to predict if any plotting was being done behind his back. This was good for the two hustlers because once committed to a game with money riding on it, Shinji rarely found it in himself to refuse his friends.

The patsies would take one look at the quiet bored boy listening to his SDAT, calculate the level of skill displayed by the other two, and then enthusiastically agree to a bet.

Instant cash!

"Touji, Kensuke, I don't want to do this today," Shinji warned.

"Do what today?" Asuka asked from Hikari's side.

"Nothing."

"Suit yourself, baka!" Asuka retorted miffed. "Oi, you two, let's have a game."

"Not interested," the stooges answered.

"Why not? Hikari and I can take you dolts on, anytime! What's the matter, chicken?" Asuka jeered, placing both hands under her armpits and flapping wildly like a frenzied dying bird.

"You wish! You're on, demon girl," the hapless dolts exclaimed, powerless against the usual macho repartee and drawing themselves up to full height, "Get ready to beg for mercy!"

"Touji, Kensuke," Shinji shook his head sadly, "She's going to flatten the both of you."

Asuka and Hikari strapped themselves onto free afterburners, put some coins into the slot and pushed the start button.

"DIE STOOGES! MWAHAHAHA!"

x

x

GAME OVER  
HIGH SCORE  
01

The screen flashed after the game.

Asuka typed in her initials with a flourish. "That was so much fun, Shinji!" She gushed, flushed with the success of their game campaign.

"Yeah, I had fun too." Shinji smiled at the redhead, flexing his fingers. He looked to where Touji and Kensuke sat nursing their wounded egos, and chuckled appreciatively. "You know, I don't think those two will ever get over that last maneuver of yours. They thought they had you and Hikari cornered."

"Serves them right for thinking they could mess with us!" said Asuka, the self-satisfied smirk still strong in her voice, then her stomach rumbled. "Shinji, I'm hungry, let's get something to eat."

"Okay. Where'd you want to go?" the boy answered, as if hanging out with Asuka was the most natural thing in the world.

"Can we have something other than Japanese food for a change?" she wheedled, grabbing Shinji's arm and pulling him to the exit. "Hey losers, Hikari," she called out tossing her hair, "Let's go grab a bite."

Touji and Hikari stopped in the middle of their conversation and stared at each other.

"Aida-kun, Suzuhara-kun," Hikari whispered, "Is it just me, or did those two just have - a moment?"

"Yeah, looks like they did." Kensuke said glumly.

"Noooo! We're losing Shinji to the demon…" Touji mourned, pulling his hair.

x

Asuka led them to a western burger joint. They placed their orders, claimed a vacant booth, and sat down to enjoy the food.

"Hey, idiots, can I ask you something? Do you do this often? Check out the games, I mean."

"Yeah, but we usually only go to the afterburners. It's our cash cow, so to speak."

Shinji blinked,"Really? I thought I went there for the UFO catchers…"

"Cash cow?" Hikari clucked disapprovingly. "I'm afraid to ask."

The two boys smirked at each other and declared proudly, "We like to hustle people on the afterburners."

Asuka's ego perked up in interest, "And everyone gets to see how magnificent you are?" she asked, leaning forward conspiratorially.

"Er- yeah, but the whole point of it is the money. We like to make bets." Kensuke said.

"I know what you're thinking, Sohryu. It's not possible, you're too scary." Touji interrupted Asuka's fantasizing.

"Are you doubting the great Asuka Langley Sohryu?" Asuka bristled, "I can act cute and helpless if I want too!"

"Not for a minute you can't."

"Yeah, they'd take one look at you and they'd all run away."

"It has to be Shinji. He looks the part."

"Hmm, mild-mannered wimp with his SDAT player suddenly kicks butt? You've got a point…"

"Will you guys just quit it? I refuse to be a party to this," Shinji said, sullen about the UFO catchers, he was damned good on those.

"On second thought, maybe you can help us with something, Sohryu."

"What?"

"You see, Shin-chan has this upsetting habit of vanishing when he's most needed."

"That's not new."

"I'd say he needs a little incentive to stay put. Know what I mean?"

"Oh!" Asuka's eyes lit up evilly. "Shinji-kun, I'll be your manager!"

x

After everyone had eaten and Touji had stuffed his face until his stomach complained, the five teenagers trooped back to the arcade. Asuka, having bullied Shinji into agreeing to try the _Taiko no Tatsujin_ (a rhythm action game where players banged drumsticks in time to a selection of either traditional melodies, anime tunes or modern J-Pop songs) was boasting of her high score on the said machine.

The problem was, they got challenged as soon as they walked through the door. Three jocks, wearing clothes remarkably similar to Touji's, intercepted Shinji.

"Ikari-san, may we challenge you to a rematch on the afterburners?" said jock number one.

"No thanks." Shinji answered immediately.

"But Ikari-san, we have been practicing hard. You must allow us the opportunity to regain our pride, and our cash, in a rematch," said jock number two.

"If you'd like a game, she'd be happy to help you out," Shinji jabbed his head in Asuka's direction. She gave them a sweet and artless smile.

"She'd be willing to take your place in a three-on-three?" jocks number one, two, and three's eyes glittered.

Shinji nodded while Touji and Kensuke shook their heads vigorously.

"What's a three-on-three?" Asuka asked innocently.

"You're on!" said jock number three.

x

To say they got trounced would be an understatement.

Annihilated, obliterated, or slaughtered, would have been more apt.

The boys magnanimously let Asuka decide on the game settings; she promptly selected the map of Tokyo-3 as an arena and switched weapons' strength settings from default to blow their blooming butts to itty bitty pieces.

Needless to say, it was over very quickly.

Asuka crowed her victory the whole way home.

And the stooges now had a second partner.

x

x

x

It was an hour to midnight and the lights of Tokyo-3 were dimmed. Despite the late hour, somewhere in the city's apartment blocks a teenage boy sat on his futon in front of the television set, wrapped in his favorite blanket, and watching late night cartoons. The day's fun at the arcade had lingered in the boy's mind and he had found himself wanting to stay up late to see if something interesting was showing.

Not wanting to wake up anyone, the boy had attached wireless headphones to the television set so that the only sound to mar the stillness was his amused laughter at the onscreen antics of the animated armor and his midget brother. The room remained mostly silent and shrouded in darkness; only the flickering light from the screen was witness to the boy's uncommon display of emotion.

Half an hour to go before lights out, Shinji thought as he glanced at the clock, a small smile still evident on his face. Shinji took off his headphones just as the credits started rolling and a jaunty song filled the earpiece. He grabbed the controller and pressed the mute button not bothering to turn the set off so he could have some light.

A clatter caught his attention. What was that? He thought as he inclined his head in the direction of Asuka's door, straining to decipher the sounds that issued from within. Sheets rustling and a low moan, Shinji frowned. He stood up and quietly padded to her door, some thrashing and a soft sob. Shinji scowled.

Asuka's nightmares had been more infrequent since third impact. But every time she did have one, her sobbing never failed to wake Shinji up. By the sound of it, this one seemed more distressing than the last.

Shinji rested his forehead on the doorframe debating what to do. He wanted to go to Asuka. He wanted to slide open the shoji, wipe the tears from her eyes and offer his shoulder to cry on. But he knew Asuka wouldn't want it. The few times he had dared to call through the shoji to ask if she was all right had been greeted by silence.

Inside the room the weeping grew gentler and soon it completely stopped. Shinji let out the breath he'd been holding and then noiselessly stepped away from the door. He crossed the floor in a few strides, plopped down on his futon, and draped himself in his blanket again. Twenty minutes until midnight, he thought absently, he would lose his light soon.

Their relationship had crossed a certain line that day on the beach, a point of no return. Outwardly they treated each other the same as before, nevertheless, Shinji felt that the huge hatchet between them had been buried and bit-by-bit, Asuka and he were becoming friends of a sort.

_Dammit, Asuka… What can I do…?_ He thought despondently, covering his face with a hand. A sudden stifled sob issued from Asuka's room and Shinji's head snapped to attention. He was halfway out of the futon when the shoji abruptly slid open. Asuka stood framed in the doorway, eyes wild and hair in disarray, one fist clutched at her mouth.

Shinji stared at the girl; shudders wracked her small frame as she attempted to stem the flow of tears.

"Shinji…" Asuka sobbed, shoulders heaving, eyes searching and finding Shinji's worried ones.

Shinji had barely started moving towards Asuka when suddenly she stirred and the boy found himself holding the weeping girl in his arms. She clutched at his shirt and hid her face in his chest giving in to the torrent of weeping.

For the first time in his life, Shinji's uncertainty completely left him. He had no comforting words for the girl in his embrace but he realized he wanted to hold her forever. Hold her and comfort her and try to keep her safe. If only she would let him.

The storm eventually abated and Asuka stood hiccupping into Shinji's neck. He raised his head from her bent one and, keeping one hand clasped firmly around her waist, he used the other to carefully lower the two of them down to the futon. Then Shinji shifted his hold a little so he could grab his blanket and cover her with it.

"Asuka?" Shinji breathed gently, tightening his grip on the girl, "the tv is going to go out soon."

"Okay…" she whispered back, sniffling and winding her arms around his waist.

Shinji glanced at the clock. Three… two… one… and the television blinked out.

Shinji didn't know how long they sat in the darkness. His back was starting to feel stiff trying to support both their weights but he was unwilling to relinquish his hold.

"Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been really really really mad at me that you never wanted to see me again?"

"Uhm… I don't think so… no."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"W-w…ow…" Asuka said very softly, voice breaking and starting to sniffle again. She quieted down after awhile and then, "Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Misato would mind if we lay down?"

"Er- I don't know…" he replied, releasing Asuka immediately when he felt her arms leave him. He was about to tell her it would be better if she slept in her own bed, and that he'd walk her to her room when he felt her settling herself in his futon.

"Baka-Shinji!" Asuka grumped softly, hooking a hand on his sleeve and pulling him down beside her. "It's not as if we're alone in a secluded area…" she rationalized as she cuddled closer to Shinji, a hand still clutching his shirt. With an infinitely deep sigh and a last hiccup, Asuka closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. "G'dnight, baka, I think… I'm… f-"

"Goodnight, Asuka," Shinji groaned in resignation, eyes softening when he realized she had quickly fallen asleep.

He could not say that he wasn't enjoying this. The minute she had cozied up to him and squeezed closer, Shinji felt his body heat up, pubertal hormones kicking it into overdrive. How the hell did she expect him to sleep when his right arm lay there growing exceedingly warmer, trapped between two disturbingly soft globes of flesh? _Okay, unsexy things, I need to think of unsexy things, _he growled at himself, carefully extricating his arm. It was different at the shelter. He had never even woken up for that. _Ice in my shorts... nope, not working... really long needles... okay, that scared me a bit... Commander Ikari... in a thong, ewww… yep, that did it._

Slowly Shinji exhaled and counted to ten, feeling much calmer and more in control. He gazed at Asuka's serene face and something in his heart ached. He yearned to hold her again, but didn't dare. He knew it was stupid – and dangerous. A familiar feeling of guilt stabbed at Shinji's conscience even as he found himself arranging the blanket to properly cover Asuka's frame.

Finally he relaxed and closed his eyes. His last thought as he finally gave in to sleep was, "Misato-san's going to go ballistic…"

* * *

A/N: 

Sumimasen! Gomen nasai! But the WAFF muse is still going strong and I can't help but write a lot of cavity causing stuff…

More to come soon and thank you for reading. Arigato gozaimasu!

P.S. The original inspiration for the idea and the line "_Commander Ikari...yep, that did it" _is a very wonderful one-shot called "Wired" by Tobu Ishi (FMA).


	7. What We Fear

_"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore." **Neil Gaiman, The Sandman**_

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I own neither Shinji-kun nor Asuka.

Thank you for all your lovely reviews! Andy, you are so right about Shinji. He is most definitely not stupid, just a little naïve.

**

* * *

Evangelion:****_ Nigeru  
_Chapter Six -What We Fear  
**12.05.2005

* * *

__

Why am I crying? I decided not to cry anymore. I don't need anyone. I'll think for myself, and I'll live on my own.  
_Aren't you lonely?  
__No! Don't come near me. Do you like me? Do you really like me? I don't need anyone. I can live by myself.  
__Liar.  
__Who would like a person like me? ……Baka! What are you doing there? You won't do anything. You won't help me. You won't even hold me!_

Asuka jerked awake, the words echoing in her mind.

She blinked for a few seconds, momentarily disoriented, and realized that she was lying in Shinji's bed, the blanket carefully spread out over her. "Pervert…" was her first thought and then, "Coward!" Shinji was sleeping almost at the edge of the futon leaving more than a foot of space between them.

Asuka's dream replayed vividly in her mind; stepping closer to him, holding his nose… _You won't even hold me! _Tears started leaking from her eyes._ Stop it… I don't want to cry anymore. _

Asuka scrambled up to get away from the boy but suddenly got yanked back – Shinji, still fast asleep, was holding tightly on to her shirt.

x

x

x

"Shinji-kun! What are you doing?" Misato asked as she poked the boy hard on the chest.

Shinji jumped, limbs flailing, like he'd been stuck with a live wire. "Aughh! Sorry! I'm sorry! Nothing happened!" he gasped, finding himself on his feet instantly awake.

"What are you talking about? Why are you still here? I come back to get my lunch and find you slacking off, don't you have a test today?" Misato lectured as she headed for the door, bento in hand. "Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and get dressed, you're already late." Misato's face scrunched up as she tried to remember, "Did I forget to tell Asuka to wake you before she left?" she asked herself as she slammed the door behind her.

Shinji was left standing in the middle of the room, a peculiar look on his face, "Asuka… already left?"

x

x

x

"The hardest trials for the human race began then. In the last year of the twentieth century, a massive meteor from outer space fell on the Antarctic Continent…"

The lecture was long and boring, the students had heard it all before. Oblivious to their progressive torpor, the teacher droned on.

It was minutes before the last bell and Shinji was now gazing out the window, having just abandoned his innumerable attempts at reading Asuka's mind by staring at her back. Outside, Shinji noted that the sky was a clear blue with wispy clouds floating peacefully across its expanse, that the leaves on the trees were swaying gently in the breeze making a nice rustling sound, and that several birds were frolicking among the tree's branches twittering cheerfully as they flew.

"What a long and horrible day," he thought dejectedly, sending the redhead several seats away an angry telepathic shake on the shoulders.

The school bell clanged and he heard the sensei say, "Well, so much for today…"

Shinji staggered to his feet with his dazed classmates, obedient to the class rep as she said, "All rise! Bow!"

Conversation broke out in the room. Shinji flopped back down in his chair, watching Asuka discreetly as she smiled at Hikari and walked out the door with her.

"Boo!" Kensuke said into Shinji's ear, chuckling when the boy jumped. "Gotcha, Shinji. C'mon, it's time to tell us what's bugging you."

"Nothing's bugging me," Shinji denied gloomily, getting on his feet and walking out the door. Immediately homing in on a mass of red hair, the boy found his feet unconsciously taking him in that direction.

Touji and Kensuke exchanged worried looks and hurried after Shinji. They fell into step on either side of him. Without needing words, both boys decided it was time to find out what was wrong.

Shinji nodded gratefully to his friends when they arrived at his side. He was slightly annoyed at being asked relentlessly if anything was bothering him but knew his friends were just worried. He was thankful for their support but felt this was something he could not talk about – ever.

He glowered moodily at Asuka's back and wished she would hit him. "Come on, Asuka," he cajoled grimly, "Scream at me, insult me, anything! Please! Anything is better than this…"

Asuka had been ignoring him all day, had refused to even acknowledge his existence. He had tried to talk to her several times, but each time, she had stared right through him as if he weren't there.

"Dammit, Asuka! What did you want me to do, pretend to be asleep?" the boy thought angrily, wincing and stopping suddenly in his tracks.

"Shinji, c'mon, tell us already! What's wrong with you and Sohryu today?" Kensuke continued to pester his beleaguered friend.

"Nothing's wrong. Stop it," he said shortly, through gritted teeth.

"What did you two fight about? Come on, tell us! What's going on between you and the demon?" Touji persisted, sensing Shinji was about to crack.

"Nothing! For the last time… THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ASUKA AND ME! So just… just… shut up, ok?"

And _that_ was the crux of the problem. The two stooges had identical looks of surprise and comprehension on their faces. One, they had never seen Shinji lose his temper like this before. Two, it seemed that, unlike on many previous occasions, this time their friend was very seriously affected by a rebuff from the redhead. She hadn't even broken stride when Shinji yelled, though there was no way she could not have heard.

The two stooges glanced at each other, thoughtfully rubbing their chins, and then wordlessly they came to the conclusion that it was time for another manly talk about the facts of life with Shinji.

_To the roof?_ Touji asked silently.

_Yeah, to the roof!_ Kensuke, just as silently, answered.

Touji gave Shinji a commiserating look and then pounded him bracingly on the back, "Ahh, Shin-chan, it's going to work out… even if we don't want it to… you'll see." He grabbed Shinji's arm and dragged him back to the school building.

Kensuke followed in the wake of the struggling boy, observing wryly, "Er- Shinji, you know that wasn't very smart."

"What?" Shinji snapped back, now thoroughly irritated.

"Loudly declaring your non-existent relationship with Sohryu."

"Wh-what?"

Kensuke jerked his head at the girls hawkishly watching the Eva pilot with stars in their eyes, "She's the only one keeping them – off of you."

"Ugh… why me…?" Shinji whispered tiredly. The school's double doors closed behind the three boys as Touji lugged the now submissive Shinji up the stairs.

x

x

x

Late afternoon on the roof wasn't a very good place for a discussion. The wind had picked up and tried to blow Touji's cap off. He quickly took it off and sat on it, then waited impatiently as Kensuke and Shinji settled themselves cross-legged beside him.

"Now, let us begin with the facts," Touji said in a practical way. "The demon is giving you the cold shoulder. And although we must admit that that carries a certain appeal, obviously this upsets you – very much."

Shinji grimaced and dropped his chin on his hand, keeping silent.

"Well said, my friend," Kensuke patted Touji on the back. "Shinji, won't you tell us what happened?"

Shinji colored and shook his head.

"Right, well, the facts were easy enough. Here's the hard part, what do you want to happen now?" Both boys looked at Shinji for an answer.

His eyes glazed over and he fell into a trance.

"Oh boy, that bad, huh?"

"Earth to Shinji!" Touji clouted the teenager on the back and he came out of his fit with a thump.

Shinji glared at his friends for breaking his little daydream and again dropped his chin on his hand with a sigh. "I want us to be friends… I thought we were… sort of getting there but…"

"Ahh, Shin-chan. This is bad. The demon is very hard to understand and very hard to take."

"You've got to like her a whole lot in order to put up with her."

"Don't say that. Asuka's not a bad person…" Shinji objected, dismayed at their poor opinion of her.

"Okay, maybe," they conceded reluctantly, "but we can't really tell you what to do now because we don't know."

"But this we can say without a doubt…"

"She gets angry when she's afraid of something…"

"Maybe… you got too close."

Shinji became suddenly still. _I got too close? But I just wanted to help… what is she afraid of? _"I'd never hurt Asuka…" Shinji mumbled, unaware he had spoken out loud.

"You better tell her that."

"Though I doubt she'd believe you. I have never seen anyone do 'denial' the way the demon does."

"One thing's for sure, it's going to be a looong and bumpy road. So if you're going to give up easily, might as well not even start.

"I want us to be friends," Shinji said quietly.

"Well, that settles it. Good luck, man! You're going to need it."

"Uh-huh, but s'long as you're sure, we're with you all the way."

"If it makes you feel any better, she was watching you when you stopped watching her."

"She was?" Shinji looked flabbergasted.

"Yeah, don't look so surprised. We weren't."

The wind gave a particularly mighty gust as the three boys stood up. It whipped through their hair and showered them with dust and small debris. Kensuke stretched and yawned, getting a mouthful of dirt, Shinji shook his head dislodging small leaves from his hair, Touji leapt forward, haring after his cap as it was buffeted in the strong wind.

"Shit…! There it goes!" It landed on the ledge out of reach.

"Touji, don't! Let me do it," Shinji ordered, pushing the bigger, less agile boy away from the railing.

Shinji swung both legs over the barrier. He bent his knees and balanced precariously on the balls of his feet. He had to let go of his hold before he could carefully lean out and retrieve Touji's cap. When he had it in hand, Shinji slowly inched backwards closer to the railing. He was about to stand up ready to turn back when he saw Asuka from the corner of his eye looking in his direction. Shinji twisted around for a better view and promptly started wobbling dangerously near the edge of the ledge. He was focusing on trying desperately to keep his balance when he felt arms pull him back to safety.

"Are you all right?"

"Hnnn… y-yes, I am. Th-thanks guys," Shinji panted, collapsed on the roof's cement floor limbs shaking. He got up as soon as his legs could carry him again but when he looked, Asuka was nowhere to be seen.

x

x

x

Hikari glanced at her friend as they walked. She wondered what Asuka was thinking of, to transform the smile she had plastered on into a small snarl. She supposed it had something to do with Ikari-kun again; only the male Eva pilot ever had the ability to so thoroughly enrage the redhead, whether he was aware of it or not.

Asuka's thoughts boiled under her smiling veneer, fueled by an emotion she didn't care to identify. "_What does the dummkopf think he's doing? Stupid idiot, baka Shinji… " _she seethed impotently.

She had a morbid and quickly denied suspicion of what he could have been doing and the dumb idea niggled at her, "_He wasn't trying anything stupid, was he? Wait, what am I thinking? This is Shinji, of course he'd do something stupid! Why did that idiot go out on that ledge? He almost got himself killed! Stupid clumsy fool…" _

Asuka's eye started twitching, a vein started throbbing on her forehead. "_Don't be paranoid Sohryu. The baka wouldn't do that. Not after he halted instrumentality! He came back didn't he? Yes, he did… but then… why was he chosen for instrumentality in the first place... that wouldn't happen unless…" _Asuka abruptly stopped walking and, like a teakettle left overlong on the fire, shrieked two words, confirming Hikari's guess.

"BAKA SHINJIII!"

x

x

_Rooftop, B-17 (Marunouchi Building)_

Asuka and Hikari walked several blocks in silence to their favorite spot for talks; the small park of the Daimaru Department Store which sat atop one of the city's tall edifices. The artificially created recreational area boasted genuine grass and trees complete with sandbox, playground, water feature and park benches. It was deserted when the two arrived, with a cold wind blustering through the place sweeping sand and leaves and rattling the swings.

Asuka and Hikari seated themselves on the west-facing bench and watched the sun as it slowly descended in the twilight sky.

"You can stop pretending now, Asuka," Hikari said gently, "your smile is starting to scare me."

"Is it that obvious?" Asuka asked her friend, freeing her face of its fake smile.

"No, don't worry," Hikari assured her, "only to me." Asuka exhaled quietly and gazed long and hard at the setting sun.

"Hikari…" she finally asked, causing Hikari to raise an eyebrow at the girl's unusually hesitant tone, "If you weren't my friend… would you like me?"

Hikari met Asuka's fixed stare and seriously considered the question. She gave her friend an assessing look and said, "Yes, I'd like you. You can be very intimidating at first, Asuka. You're loud and scary and say exactly what you think." Hikari sounded like she was giving her the highest compliment. "Well, most of the time, anyway," she gave Asuka a pointed look. "I'm very glad you're my friend and I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Really?"

"Really," she grinned at Asuka, "Who else can terrorize half the boys in the year and still get as many love letters? I swear, I think they like it when you bully them."

"No, it's because most of them have only one thing on their shallow little minds," Asuka grunted cynically.

"Not everyone's like that." Hikari paused and glanced openly at the redhead, "I don't think he is. So what did he do this time?"

"Who?" Asuka pretended she didn't know whom Hikari was talking about.

"Ikari-kun." Hikari answered, looking unconvinced at her pretense. She could see Asuka turning beet red, a vein starting to pulse at her temple. "What happened? You two looked like you were having fun yesterday."

"No!" Asuka denied hotly. "I was having fun because I ground those idiots into pulp not because baka-Shinji was there to push around."

"Really?" Hikari raised an eyebrow, not believing a word. "Well, before you push him away so strongly, make sure it's what you want. He looked lost the whole day."

Asuka snorted, slightly worried and hiding it. She muttered under her breath, "Could it be? Why, dummkopf?" She wasn't sure exactly which _'why'_ she was referring to. _Why did he look lost? Why was he on that ledge? Why could he possibly... when she had never given him any reason to? And dammit, why is this so hard? _

"I seriously doubt that, Hikari. I always ignore the baka and it has never affected him before, why should today be any different?" Asuka shook her head with finality and fell silent.

"If you say so," Hikari chided, exhaling softly in a sigh. "I should warn you though. Some of his fangirls aren't just fangirls."

"What do you mean?" Asuka asked in spite of herself. She hastily changed her tune and turned to walk away when Hikari smiled knowingly. "No, don't answer that. I don't care. The moron doesn't concern me."

Stubborn girl, Hikari thought, conceding defeat for the day. She peered at the surly redhead and thought dispassionately, "But he does get under your skin, ne? Asuka?"

x

x

x

Shinji had gone straight home from school, feeling in need of some cheering up. He didn't feel like accompanying the other two and his SDAT wasn't helping him any so he took out his cello.

This would be the first time since third impact, Shinji thought heavily, as he caressed the cello, his bow expertly coaxing from it strains of a sweet and melancholic melody.

Shinji played, his heart on his sleeve, unaware that he had acquired an audience.

As the last poignant refrain died away, the boy's mood shifted. With an abrupt increase in tempo his song changed, altering into something sprightly and beautiful. Shinji's arm and fingers were a blur of speed and motion, effortlessly weaving each note into an enthralling tapestry of sound. He brought the tune to crescendo. Held it, then slowly let it go. Finally winding it down, he let it finish - in a soft and hopeful ending.

Shinji sat there for several minutes, head bowed and thinking, blissfully unaware of the buzzing at the door. After several hours of playing and channeling all emotion to his music, he felt immeasurably better.

He leaped to his feet when the buzzing grew insistent. Carefully putting down his cello, the teenager stood up to open the door.

"Konbanwa, Ikari-kun!" a smiling girl, with sweet eyes and long brown hair left loose down her back greeted him warmly.

"I hope you don't mind the intrusion but we have something here for you," her black-haired companion grinned at him, thrusting a paper wrapped package into the surprised boy's hands.

Shinji blinked at them searching his brain for their names. "Konbanwa, Noriko-san, Kana-san. Er- this certainly is a surprise but er- won't you come in?"

"Thank you. We'd love that." Both girls accepted and followed Shinji as he led the way to the living room.

"Ah – uhm… w-would y-you like anything?" Shinji stammered, unused to the sight of two unknown girls sitting at his table calmly watching him and waiting for him to finish his question.

"No thank you," the one called Kana said, "We just wanted to give you that and say hello. Maybe talk to you for a bit. Sit down and join us, Shinji-kun," she urged patting the space between her and her brown-haired friend.

"Uhm, s-sure… j-just wait a sec… while I put this away…" Shinji replied and promptly fled to the kitchen.

"_Oh my God! There are two strange girls sitting out there_," he thought panicked. Well, technically speaking they weren't really strange, nor were they strangers, he had talked to them several times in school, but that was with a lot of other people around. He placed the package on the counter and grabbed some chips and some sodas. "_Okay, Ikari, just go out there, find out what they want and get rid of them as soon as possible. How bad can it be_?"

The two girls turned to beam at him as soon as he stepped out of the kitchen. He gulped nervously, and took a seat on the other side of the table. "Er – you're both probably thirsty and ahh, a bit hungry? Here have some…" he said stiffly, thrusting the said items on the table. "Er – may I ask what brings you both here?"

"Thanks, Ikari-kun. Like we said, we just wanted to give that to you. It's something Kana-chan and I made. Hope you like it, would you like some of your soda?" Noriko asked the obviously flustered boy and popped the can of soda for him when he nodded.

Shinji took a sip, his throat having gone dry. _Ok, so you gave it to me already, why don't you just go,_ he wanted to ask but said instead, "Thank you… for taking the trouble." _Okay, that was actually sweet of them, but how do I handle this now? Well, they said they wanted to talk, but about what? I'm no good at talking. _

"Shinji-kun, we're sorry for listening without permission, but we just have to tell you. You play beautifully!" Kana enthused opening the bag of chips and offering him some.

Shinji shook his head, taken aback, "You heard me play?" he squeaked.

"Yes, please forgive us," Noriko said quickly when she saw the boy flush. "We were going to ring the bell but forgot to when you started playing. We couldn't just interrupt, and we couldn't leave either. We sort of got drawn in… it was so beautiful…" she trailed off, adding in a whisper, "We're sorry…"

Shinji looked down avoiding their eyes, he felt very uncomfortable._ That had been for Asuka, _he clenched a hand under the table and thought vulnerably, _though I have never had enough nerve to play like that in front of her. _

"We're sorry, Ikari-kun, we've obviously offended you. We should leave now." Noriko said softly, stricken.

Shinji heard the distress in her voice. _Get a grip._ _So they listened to you. Big deal. At least they thought it was nice. And it was sweet of them to come all this way to bring something. Don't be a jerk, Ikari. _He shook his head and tried to smile, surprised that it came out naturally. "No need for that. I'm fine. Just… don't do it again, okay? I'd rather you ring the bell."

_So you want to listen to music, huh? Okay, sure beats talking._ "Would you like me to play something?" he offered cheerfully, taking his cello when they nodded in surprised delight.

Shinji took his bow and cello into his arms and broke into a charming, albeit objective, performance of Johann Sebastian Bach's _Minuet in G Minor_.

Kana was listening in rapt attention eyes closed, Noriko had both hands clasped marveling at the music and watching the boy play, Penpen had wandered from his chilly abode in search of beer and now lay sprawled at Shinji's feet.

He had just completed a difficult trill when Asuka walked in.

* * *

Baka -idiot, stupid, dummkopf  
Bento -boxed lunch  
Sensei -teacher  
Ne -right?do you agree? as in: Shinji-kun is cute, ne?  
Konbanwa -Good Evening

A/N: I chose Minuet in G Minor because it seemed thoughtful and melancholic, more appropriate methinks. I know it's originally for the piano but I just went ahead and assumed that like most songs, it can also be played on other instruments. Can one actually do a 'trill' on a cello? Regarding Asuka's ideas on Shinji and instrumentality, well, let's just say people will never know the entire truth. Anyway, once again, thank you for all the lovely reviews! More to come soon...


	8. What We Need

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I don't own Shinji or Asuka.

Do you think I should change the genre to Romance/Drama? I wish I could write action… but it's just so darned hard…

**

* * *

Evangelion: _Nigeru  
_Chapter Seven - What We Need  
**12.10.2005  
_**

* * *

**_

Asuka stopped cold, staring at the scene before her with disbelieving eyes. _Twitch, twitch_, went her brow and steam started pouring from her ears. The idiot had stopped mid-draw and was gawking at her mouth agape.

_Hey,_ Shinji exulted, _she was looking at him! Actually looking at him. Yay!_ Then he noticed her eyes, dangerously narrowed and growing angrier by the second. They moved from him to someone else in the room then back to him again. The boy gulped, breaking out in cold sweat. _Eheh…? _His eyes widened and he turned to the other two girls with him._ Oh yeah… I have visitors… _

_Breathe, breathe, _Asuka told herself. _Invaders!_ A klaxon rang in her head. _This means war! And there's no way Asuka Langley Sohryu is going to lose! _Exerting an iron control on her fury, Asuka studied the enemy. She knew who these girls were. She had watched them for months. Giving her Shinji the googly eyes. Greeting him in their sweet girly manner in the corridors and passing him small gifts of food and scented notes. Undoubtedly, these were two of the many who sent letters to the boy's locker. Good thing the idiot was too shy and naive when it came to these things. The only response he ever had to their romantic overtures was to stammer thanks and then go beet red. Asuka's lips curled.

"Konbanwa, minna-san. I didn't know you had visitors, Shinji-kun. But it's late so you two had better be going."

Scary. Noriko cowered at the redhead's savage expression and stood up quickly preparing to go.

Kana stared at Asuka's face and a light bulb went on in her head. _So the rumors are true! They're not together, _she thought in glee.

"Yes, we had better get going. Thanks for the music, Shinji-kun. Maybe we can do this again next time," she said warmly to Shinji, standing up and bowing politely then shooting Asuka a cocky smile.

Shinji hurriedly stood up, cello and bow in hand, "Er- it's nothing. I'll see you in school."

The two girls walked briskly to the door and said goodnight to Asuka. Silence descended after the front door hissed close. Now that they were alone together, Asuka didn't know what to say. Well, she knew what she _wanted_ to say but _how_ to say it was the problem. How do you tell someone you've been treating like dirt that you'd fallen in love with him? And how was he going to take it? Would he laugh? Would he ignore her? Would he take what he could of her love and then leave?

"Asuka," Shinji said, his voice sounding hoarse to the girl's ears. She came to with a bump and realized she'd been staring at him. He had put down his cello and was walking towards her.

Asuka searched Shinji's face as he came closer. _There it was again!_ That same expression from months ago when they first woke up and almost kissed. Her heart thudded painfully, irrational fear mingling with joy.

Shinji stopped an arms length away, watching the redhead warily, curiously. She had been absolutely furious a few moments ago, he was sure of that. Now she appeared much calmer. The rabid twitching of her eyebrow had stopped and she was looking at him in a way that made his gut clench and his heart hammer. "A-asuka? Can we talk?"

Asuka went utterly still.

Shinji swallowed nervously but continued. "I'm… I'm sorry... I don't know what to say but I can't stand the way it's been all day. Should I apologize for last night? I just wanted to help. I-I would never do anything to hurt you. Please… whatever I've done, I'm sorry…" Shinji trailed off apprehensively.

Asuka Langley Sohryu stood before Ikari Shinji with her head bent and her eyes hidden behind a curtain of red hair.

Tension mounted in the room and time seemed to slow as the boy stared at the motionless girl. He couldn't see her face and was unsure what to do.

When Shinji could take the silence no longer, he took a step toward the redhead. Her voice stopped him, sounding small and unsure, completely unlike the Asuka he knew.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I first woke up?"

"Erm- disgusting?"

"No! Not that," she stamped her foot, head still bent.

"You said you didn't want to be alone."

"Yes… but that's not really it either… not anymore…"

"What are you saying? What do you want me to do, Asuka?"

"I don't know," she admitted very softly, meeting Shinji's eyes squarely for the first time that day, "What do you honestly want to do, Shinji?"

The boy blinked at the challenge in her voice. What do _I _want to do? He stared at the girl before him, straight backed, proud, and… vulnerable.

What do _I_ want to do? That was easy.

His hands reached out and settled on Asuka's shoulders. A strangled sob of trepidation escaped her but she didn't pull away. Feeling anything but brave, Shinji smiled at Asuka and said truthfully, "You did ask."

He pulled Asuka to him and slowly enveloped her in a warm hug. He rested his head on hers and waited for the explosion, which – surprisingly – did not come. Instead, Asuka trembled briefly and then relaxed into Shinji's embrace. She wound her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder, memorizing his scent.

Being with him felt so right. She wished she could believe that she could always stay as she was now, safe and possibly – loved, in this boy's arms. She sighed and looked up at him.

Shinji had a contented and slightly bemused expression on his face. He raised an inquiring eyebrow at her and she grinned. He really was quite cute! Asuka put both hands on Shinji's nape, absently caressing his hair. Then ignoring the urge to pull his head down on hers, Asuka quickly tiptoed up and planted a kiss on Shinji's cheek.

"Does this mean we're friends?" Shinji asked shyly, turning a brilliant shade of red.

_Friends? Yes, but... _"Yes, baka, I guess we are friends." Asuka answered aloud, gently disentangling herself from him. "Oyasumi nasai, Shinji-kun. I'll see you in the morning."

Shinji stared at Asuka's door a long time after she went through it. They were friends, exactly what he said he wanted. He put a hand to the cheek she had kissed.

"Asuka… is my friend," Shinji tested out loud, stretching out on his bed with his hands behind his head and grinning at the ceiling. _Friends forever… just friends._ Shinji curled up sideways losing his grin. _I should be happy. No, I am happy! It's just that… friends… is such an inadequate word… somehow._

x

x

The boy looked at his list of names. It wasn't a long list, but it wasn't short either.

_Why am I doing this again? _He sighed, trying to remember. _Oh, yeah, because she said I had to grow a spine._

_To be perfectly honest_, he acknowledged ruefully, _I have never had a good enough reason to do this – until now. _

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and forced himself to go on. _Almost done… just a few more letters to go. _

x

x

x

_**Tokyo-3 Public 1st Junior High School **_

Shinji grinned as he slumped in his chair exhausted. "How many have we crossed out so far?" he asked Kensuke who was holding the list he had made the night before.

"More than half. Are you going to talk to every one of them?"

"Of course not! Just the ones who'd ask me out outright."

"Why make the list then?"

"Just so I know what to say."

"Hmm, it's a good idea. That little slip of yours yesterday has them coming out of the woodwork."

"Huh? Yeah," Shinji agreed, sounding preoccupied, "I didn't think it would be this difficult." He was thinking of what Kana-san said to him when he talked to her in the empty schoolyard right after lunch.

"_That's unfair Shinji-kun. If you don't want to go out that's fine but we still want to be friends with you. Actually, lots of people want to be friends with you. But we can't do that if you won't even talk to us or maybe just hang out with us once in a while. Don't shut us out. How do you know we won't be good friends, or maybe even more, if you don't at least give us a chance?" _

Her words had thrown him. She was right. He never did give people a chance. Considering the way he ran away from everything it was a miracle that Touji and Kensuke found him, and stuck with him.

But… first things first…

"_You may be right but I can't do it right now. There are things I have to take care of first… before anything else."_

She had understood whom he meant. Nodding and then saying that she cared enough to wait, just in case things didn't work out.

Shinji had flushed deeply at that. It had been tantamount to a confession. The first he had ever received from a girl, barefaced and up front.

He was profoundly moved and yet, he had said no.

It amazed him that she could open herself up to hurt so blithely.

"_You're very brave Kana-san, I couldn't do what you just did."_

"_Oh, but you have to Shinji-kun. If you truly wish to succeed with her… you'll have to."_

"Shinji! Shinji! Watch out!" Touji yelled, snapping the boy out of his reverie. Shinji came to just in time to catch the enraged fist the redhead threw at him – with his face.

Asuka vanished as quickly and silently as she appeared leaving the inert teenager out cold on the floor.

"The demon knows!" Touji and Kensuke whispered, sharing identical looks of horror for their friend.

x

x

x

It was twilight and Misato still wasn't home when Asuka banged into the apartment in a very nasty mood.

A very long walk had not done anything to soothe her frame of mind hence she was looking forward to pummeling the stupid boy until he begged for mercy. "_Traitor! Off with his head!"_ was doing the rounds in her overly imaginative brain.

She moved through the silent rooms like a predator stalking its prey. _Where is he?_ The sound of running water and then the tap closing caught her sensitive ears. _Aha!_ She was through the bathroom door before she realized what she was doing.

As luck would have it, Shinji was nowhere to be seen. The tub was full to the brim and he was completely underwater quite unaware of the speedily retreating girl above.

Asuka tapped her finger impatiently. Three minutes, three whole minutes. She stared at the bathtub through the slit in the slightly open door. There was no movement other than the bubbles floating gently to the surface. And the submerged boy showed no sign whatsoever of resurfacing.

Five minutes! And counting! And still no sign of Shinji. Asuka moved swiftly to the tub, dread overriding her reason. "Damn you, idiot boy! What are you trying to do?" Plunging both hands into the water, she grabbed a fistful of wet hair and fished the drowning boy out.

Shinji batted waterlogged eyes at the irate girl. The right one was still half shut, throbbing agonizingly, a beautiful purple bruise now adorning it.

She fixed him with a rigid glare.

Shinji searched in vain for a way to escape but he was in the tub – naked, and she was blocking his way. He decided he would have to stay put. Perhaps logic would work to drive away the demon?

"You shouldn't be here, Asuka," he said reasonably, glancing down at himself to see if anything indecent was showing. The water was murky and everything seemed to be in place still… better to be safe than sorry, Shinji thought, slipping both hands down into the water to cover certain parts of him.

"Baka! What are you doing?"

"Er- taking a bath?"

Asuka snorted suspiciously, "Is that so? Why were you under water for so long?"

"Oh, that? I was trying to see how long I could hold my breath."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why?"

"Should there be a why? Why not?"

"You don't have a death wish?" Asuka realized how silly she sounded the moment the words left her mouth.

Shinji refused to take any more abuse. He rose up and made quickly for the towel, which he wrapped securely around himself. Asuka had hastily averted her eyes.

"Death wish? What an inane idea. Why would you think that?" he answered looking hurt.

_Oh, nothing. It's just that you were chosen to end all humanity..._ "I saw your little balancing act on the roof and I… I was afraid… y-you had meant to jump…"

"I was rescuing Touji's cap," Shinji's brows wrinkled into a frown, "Wait a sec… you were worried about me?" He tried to get his mind around that completely foreign concept.

"What do you think? Baka!" Asuka growled, exasperated.

Shinji continued to frown at Asuka while she peeked at him from under her lashes. Then unexpectedly, he grinned, and Asuka's heart sped up.

"Asuka, I meant what I said the other night, ok? I don't think you can do anything to make me permanently go away. And dammit, I want us to be friends, more even, if that were possible."

Shinji enjoyed the effect his words had on the girl. She cared about him, even if it was just a little bit. Maybe it wasn't hopeless after all. He started to walk out but paused when he reached the door. He turned back to look at Asuka, eyes twinkling at her obvious blush, "And just so you know, I turned down everyone who approached me today. So give me a break, will you? A little time to heal would be nice."

And with that, Ikari Shinji-kun, disappeared into his room, leaving the flustered redhead speechless in the bath.

x

x

* * *

_Author's Note:_Ahh, it's short but it's done, so here it is. It seems Shinji-kun and Asuka are getting a tad OOC. But hey, this is fanfiction and they're supposed to be growing, ne?

Many thanks to those who have read and reviewed. I am totally enjoying writing this. I truly hope you enjoy reading it as well. Feedback, suggestions and whatnot will be very welcome!

Ja mata and arigato gozaimasu!

* * *

Konbanwa -good evening  
Minna -everyone  
Oyasumi nasai -good night


	9. Be True

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I own neither Shinji nor Asuka.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! May you all have a peaceful and prosperous new year!

By the way, very minor tweaking was done within the chapter. There were a couple of small things that were bothering me about it but I only decided to do something about it after someone posted a review. Thanks a lot for the input and the ehe...nudge in the right direction! (wink wink) Arigato!

**

* * *

Evangelion: ****_Nigeru  
_Chapter Eight - Be True  
**12.19.2005_**

* * *

**_  
Shinji lay in bed for a long time unable to fall asleep. His eye was still throbbing. A lancing pain making him wince each time he tried to smile too broadly or chuckle to himself. Which was often in the last few hours. 

Asuka's look of surprise was priceless! It wasn't often that he could leave her speechless.

Shinji knew she was stunned at his words. Which was understandable since it had surprised him too. The jarring shock he felt when he realized Asuka had cared enough to worry about him and was admitting it, although very reluctantly, had filled him with so much elated joy that the words had slipped out.

He wasn't worried that she'd read too much into it. This was Asuka after all. Shinji knew perfectly well what she felt for him. At worse, she'd think he just wanted to be the very best of friends or maybe, be like family? Leastways, it was enough that he could assure her that he would always be there for her if she needed him.

His face broke into a wide smile as her face again swam into view. Clapping a palm to his eye at the sudden pull of swollen muscle he mumbled under his breath, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" while laughing quietly, unable to control his mirth.

He wondered why she had blushed, though. She looked incredibly cute with her cheeks all red and her jaw hanging open, unable to think of something to say. It was so very funny.

Was it because of what he said? Probably not, he decided. Then his glance fell on the wet towel hanging on a chair to dry. No way! He flushed hard at his ridiculous thoughts.

The Asuka he knew had never been shy in that way before. Something to do with her western upbringing, he supposed. He remembered her lecture on breasts and thermal expansion and turned even redder. No, that's definitely not it either.

Shinji shifted to a more comfortable position. No matter. Puzzling it out was only going to give him a headache. Knowing the redhead, it was probably for something like coming up with the absolutely stupid idea of him trying to do away with himself… well, _that _wasn't really funny.

Shinji found himself in a more somber mood and closed his eyes to try to sleep.

_You should tell her. _

The words came unbidden to his mind. What? Tell her what? He asked himself already half asleep.

_How you feel. _

Why? He found himself frowning.

_Because it's time to stop running. _

Running? He wasn't running. He was just being er – protective.

_Exactly. Telling her the truth could have painful consequences but if there is to be any possibility for your words to become truth…_

Shinji came completely awake. He stared at the ceiling for a very long time.

He thought of Kana-san and her words that day in the schoolyard, and of how he had rejected her.

He thought of Asuka, stammering and highly embarrassed at her conclusions but determined to hear the truth from him just the same. Her hands had been on her hips, still wet from when she had pulled him up, and she had glared daggers at him.

_Courage Shinji._

She cared for him. Even if it was just for his safety. It wasn't as if it was _completely_ hopeless.

Shinji sighed and then smiled ruefully. He closed his eyes feeling strangely relieved at his decision.

He would tell her. It was time to stop running.

_Bah! I can just see it. _He thought as he finally fell asleep. _I hate pain._

x

x

_I don't think you can do anything to make me permanently go away. _

_I want us to be friends, more even, if that were possible._

Asuka woke up smiling, lingering for a while in that half state between dreaming and wakefulness and hugging Shinji's words close to herself.

"Glug… glug… glug… guuuhhhhh. AIIYEEEAAAA!" she heard Misato in the kitchen and came completely awake.

She rolled over on her stomach and covered her head with a pillow. More than friends – what else is more than friends?

Asuka jumped up and headed for the bathroom to wash and change. As she passed, she heard Shinji moving around in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

"Baka Shinji!" Asuka growled when she gained the privacy of the bathroom. Just thinking of the dummkopf brought a blush to her cheeks. She had gone through a whole gamut of emotions in the small interval between hovering at the door counting minutes to blushing profusely as Shinji walked out. Through it all, Asuka had been very aware of the boy's er – state of undress.

It was the first time she had ever seen him like that – clad in nothing but a towel and an impudent grin. And it was burned indelibly in her brain.

Asuka blinked at the mirror. She was red again. She watched her reflection detachedly, noting how the rosy color started from her neck and spread upward until it suffused her entire face. Her ears felt warm and tingly and Shinji's grin still danced madly before her eyes.

Muttering curses she bent forward to wash and cool her face. Now that she thought about it, the months since that fateful day on the beach only served to lead her inevitably to this. This... this emotion she had … whenever she thought of the stupid boy who'd held her in his strong, skinny embrace - it thrilled her, terrified her, made her feel utterly exposed and stripped of all her barriers.

Damn. She had known it since the other day. She had fallen for the baka. And fallen hard.

Finally dressed and ready, Asuka headed for the kitchen and paused before entering. A frisson of fear ran through her. How would he act? No, scratch that. Why should anything be different? She shook herself impatiently and then strode inside.

"Ohayo! Breakfast is ready." Shinji greeted her cheerfully.

He was holding a spatula in one hand and was wearing a violently purple apron with 'Glomp the Cook' emblazoned on its front. She had never had the urge to do as it said before – until now. Asuka drew a calming breath and stamped down hard on images of a wet boy wrapped in a skimpy towel, soaked hair standing on end where she had grabbed it, and sporting a cheeky smile.

She grunted a good morning at Shinji and opened the refrigerator.

"Misato-san has gone back to bed. She only came out for a beer," Shinji clucked disapprovingly, like a mother hen. "She says she's been up all night meeting with people about a new Eva project. But she wouldn't say anything else about it."

Asuka grabbed a glass to go with her carton of orange juice and plunked down across from Shinji who had taken off his apron before sitting down to eat.

She eyed the boy covertly while he munched on his breakfast.

He seemed the same, nothing out of place.

She caught Shinji's eye and he smiled.

Except – he looked a smidgen more relaxed. Totally at odds with the dark ugly swollen bruise ringing his right orb.

"Baka! You should put something on that. Who did that to you? It looks horrible. I heard you got knocked out. Must have been someone really strong, skillful and beautiful."

"Ha, ha. Very funny," his eyebrows shot up and he winced. "Glad to see you're back to your usual self."

Asuka stomped to Shinji's side to study his eye critically. _Didn't he put anything on it at all? Stupid idiot. _

"You're not at all sorry are you?"

"Why should I be? You deserved it," she retorted.

"Ouch! Stubborn woman," he answered sounding peeved. Then he added softly, "But that's one of the things I love about you."

Asuka froze. "Don't. Joke."

Shinji shook his head. "I'm not."

Asuka's heart was hammering in her breast, its sound loud in her ears. She looked at Shinji hard. He was smiling easily. And there was an odd gleam in his eye. Was the dumbass enjoying this? Did he actually know what he was saying?

"You say it like it doesn't mean anything."

"Now _that_ hurt," Shinji sighed heavily and broke eye contact. _Stupid, stupid! I shouldn't have blurted it out that way. Dammit, now is not even the right time. Idiot! Too late now, I must continue, or I'll forever lose my nerve._

Shinji steeled himself and looked up, he caught Asuka's eyes and held it, "Look, I'm done hiding it, Asuka. I think I've loved you for the longest time. It doesn't matter whether you return it or not. I like it that we are friends. But I'm done hiding it from you because…" he trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished.

He watched in horror as Asuka walked back to her seat and calmly started to butter her toast. She was ignoring him again! _Ahh, well… _His heart contracted painfully. _It doesn't matter whether you return it or not?_ _What a crock of shit! Was it supposed to hurt this much?_

_Get some butter on the knife and then spread it on the toast. Yes, I can do that._ _Shinji loves me. He loves me. Why? How? I'm afraid._

She looked up surprised he wasn't in his seat anymore. _Where did he go?_ She looked around slightly panicked.

He was washing his hands.

There was something about the set of his shoulders that nagged at Asuka. _Oh my god! I've hurt him! He's going to leave… but I'm not ready…_

He had turned off the faucet and was drying his hands.

_Idiot girl! MOVE!_

And Asuka moved. She was behind Shinji in a flash. Curling both limbs around the boy and pinning his arms to his side, she hugged him fiercely.

"His back is warm," she thought, hiding her face in it for an instant. She felt him relax a bit.

"Asuka…" he said softly then stopped.

She had shaken her head behind him. _Not yet. _

x

x

x

They walked to school together that morning, the same as they did nearly everyday, the only difference was the lack of conversation.

Asuka was feeling edgy and uncomfortable, made worse by Shinji's silence and blank expression. She felt confused and unsure about what she should do. She loved Shinji. Why couldn't she just tell him?

She glanced sideways at the boy. He tilted his head inquiringly at her, hands in his pockets, his face not giving anything away.

_Baka Shinji!_ Asuka fumed in silence. _Why don't you say something?_

They were only halfway to school and tension was building up in the redhead. _Love me? Hah! Stupid Shinji! _

Asuka stopped and glared at the idiot, who had also stopped and was standing clueless before her. Her eye began twitching rapidly, and her lips twisted into a snarl of frustration.

Shinji's vacant expression abruptly changed to one of fear.

"BAKA SHINJI!" Asuka shrieked and pounced on the immobile boy, clamping him in a headlock. "SAY SOMETHING! I CAN'T STAND THIS SILENCE ANYMORE!"

Only gargling noises emerged from the suffocating boy.

"WHAT'S THAT? I don't understand what you're saying! SPEAK UP, BAKA!"

Once again only a slight burble emerged from Shinji's throat and he tugged desperately at the redhead's arm.

Asuka realized she was strangling him and abruptly let go. He looked like he was about to pass out.

"Th-thank you… I'm sorry…"

"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? You don't have to be sorry! Just… don't stop talking to me!"

Shinji nodded massaging his neck. He smiled sheepishly at her and started walking again, more quickly this time. "Hurry up, Asuka," he rasped pulling at her sleeve, "Or we're going to be late… and I'll tell Sensei it's all your fault."

"My fault?" Asuka fell into step beside him. "MY FAULT? This is your entire fault! Baka Shinji!"

They argued the rest of the way to school.

x

x

Asuka was alone in the classroom, typing on the school notebook and rushing to finish yesterday's assignment, when she heard a familiar step and felt someone come up behind her. The hair at the back of her neck prickled and her heart fluttered.

"Go away, Shinji. Don't distract me now. I have to finish this before lunch break is up." She imagined his look of surprise and smirked inwardly.

"B-but I'm not doing anything…" the boy's voice rose in protest, then he said in amazement, "how did you know…?"

"Hmph, instinct. Now be good and leave me alone for awhile."

"Okay. I just wanted to ask you something about what Misato-san said. Later then." Shinji turned around and obediently walked out giving the redhead a last thoughtful wave at the door.

"Hah! Who said bickering married couples couldn't be exciting!" Asuka thought with a satisfied smile, waiting for the tingly feeling to subside.

It took a few seconds before she realized what she said, then she froze, and blinked. "Mein Gott... the stooges are contagious..."

x

x

x

It was a week since the momentous confession in the kitchen, and in all that time neither Shinji nor Asuka had felt able to talk about that morning. Instead, they spent every waking hour at home together, talking, and arguing, and talking, and arguing. About Shinji's wimpy ways, Asuka's violent tendencies, about philosophy, friendship, and the state of Misato's room.

It was now late Saturday night. The day had been dreary with skies overcast and rain coming down dismally, driving the city's population indoors.

Shinji and Asuka had just come from the grocery store, spending the early eve restocking on foodstuff. They had come home an hour earlier, methodically put away everything they bought, and were now sitting on the floor still dressed in their slightly damp street clothes, discussing Penpen's palate for beer.

"Tadaima, Shinji-kun, Asuka, Penpen!" Misato hollered as she walked in. She snagged a beer from the refrigerator, waved to the two teenagers while she guzzled it, and headed to her room to change.

"Okaeri, Misato-san! That will ruin your appetite," Shinji nagged, "Why don't we eat first? We've been waiting for you."

"Oh, thanks, Shinji-kun, I'll be right back. I just need to change. Oh, and I have something I've been meaning to give you, by the way," Misato replied going to her room and shutting the shoji behind her.

She came back after half an hour dressed in shorts and a sleeveless tank top and holding a large cardboard box, which she handed to Shinji.

"Shinji-kun, uhm… this is for you. It's Commander Ikari's… personal stuff and ahh… you're his… next of kin… so it's now yours."

His father's personal things. Did he really want to have those? Suddenly very still, Shinji gazed at the box in his hands as if afraid it would bite him. "What if I don't want it?" he asked, voice steady.

"Then I can throw it into cold storage for you. But I think… you should keep it… you might want to look at it… when you're ready…"

Shinji swallowed, throat dry and tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. _When I'm ready? When would that be?_

"Okay, excuse me please," he said aloud through clenched teeth. Hurriedly Shinji stood up and disappeared into his room with the box.

Asuka and Misato exchanged worried looks. "Don't worry, Asuka, he'll be alright." Misato mumbled, sounding like she didn't believe it.

"Who said I was worried?" Asuka snapped, irritated. The shoji slid open and Shinji stepped out, hands in his pockets and a neutral expression on his face.

"I'm going out," he said, carefully avoiding their eyes, "don't wait up for me," and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind him.

Misato stared helplessly at Asuka who returned a reassuring smile. "It's alright, Misato. It will be okay. Stupid Shinji is stronger than he looks. Still…" Asuka stood there for a long moment biting her bottom lip. Then striding swiftly to the door she said, "We'll be back later, I promise, so no need to wait up for us. Don't worry, okay?"

x

x

x

Shinji shivered as he felt the cold seep slowly into his bones. The night was chilly and the ground was damp, but he didn't mind; it went perfectly with his mood. Too bad it had stopped raining. He was sitting atop the cliff overlooking Tokyo-3, watching the lights and chewing on his thoughts.

A quick look in the box had revealed some old books, cracked eyeglasses, a square envelope crammed full of personal correspondence, and a fat journal, written in the Commander's hand.

Shinji realized that Misato was right; this was his chance once and for all. Maybe if he read some of what his father wrote he could understand him a little bit more; maybe if he were brave enough he would discover…

Shinji groaned and shook his head. But why should he even make the effort? He thought rebelliously. He had been nothing more than a pawn in his father's eyes, a tool to be used and then discarded when its purpose was done. The bastard abandoned him! Why should he want to get to know the asshole?

Shinji rested his arms on his knees and closed his eyes. _What are you afraid of?_ he asked himself mockingly. _There is nothing else he can do to you. He can't hurt you anymore than he already has. Hasn't he already done his worst? The ultimate desertion, his failure to return._

The wind felt good on Shinji's damp cheeks, it caressed his flushed face and nipped at his skin. Slowly leaning his head on his arms, Shinji continued the scornful conversation he was having with himself. _I already knew he wasn't coming back, yet… I had hoped. _

_Yes, Misato-san is right, I want my father's things! I'm such a fool, _he thought miserably. _Father…you're going to hurt me again, aren't you? I'm going to find out that you never really cared… _

It was agonizing to admit. He loved his father. That's why he hated him. It made perfect sense now.

The boy remained in the same position for a long time, head bent, heart heavy; a small figure against the dark sky.

x

It was the loud cursing that aroused Shinji from his stupor. Someone was walking up the dimly lit path to his perch. Someone was cursing very fluently, breaking the hushed stillness with an extensive and colorful vocabulary in three languages.

She paused when she saw the boy, then relief sped her footsteps to him.

"Shinji! I've looked all over for you!" Asuka panted, sprawling beside the teenager with a gasp.

"What's wrong?" Shinji asked, curiously watching the girl as she lay wheezing on the wet grass.

"Nothing." Asuka shook her head in reply, still trying to catch her breath.

"Oh, then why are you here, Asuka?" Shinji asked mystified.

"Why do you think?" she retorted mildly.

Asuka took a good long look at Shinji's face. And then arranging herself into a more comfortable position, she took a big gulp of the fresh night air and remarked cheerfully, "Ahhh, that smells so good! Look, look, Shinji! It's almost midnight."

To conserve power resources, a midnight curfew had been ordered on the city. This meant that at the stroke of twelve every night, the power grid was shut off. Shinji followed Asuka's pointing finger to the view before him just as the lights of Tokyo-3 winked out. In the wake of this sudden loss of light, the darkness was almost complete.

"Shinji, look!" Asuka whispered awed, "Aren't the stars pretty tonight?"

The rain had cleared the air of dust and soot, so when the boy shifted his gaze to the heavens, he noticed for the first time that night, the brilliant streak of stars studding the sky.

"Beautiful…" Shinji breathed, acutely aware of Asuka's presence in the darkness beside him. "It's so… huge… there must be millions of others out there…"

"Uh-huh, and here we are a little speck in it all. Does it make you feel… small?"

"A little, but not… insignificant. I wonder why?"

A tremendous calm stole over Shinji as his senses gradually became attuned to the nocturnal life around him; the air lapping coolly at his skin, the myriad insects chittering their song, the grass wet underneath his fingertips, and Asuka's quiet breathing… regular… and soothing.

"Asuka…?" Shinji said again, after some time.

"Yeah...?"

"Thanks… for the company. But you didn't have to, you know."

"Idiot! Are you saying you don't appreciate my wonderful presence?"

"No! That's not what I meant. I do. I'm just saying you didn't have to. It's not like I was dying or anything…" he shot her a dirty look, still bothered that she thought he could do such a thing. The upshot of it though was finding out she actually was concerned for his health.

"Baka! Of course I didn't have to come." Asuka whispered, her voice strange.

"That's what I said..."

"Just shut up." Asuka sighed.

Shinji thought she sounded aggravated. "Sorry."

Then very softly, he heard her say, "I wanted to… ok, Third?"

"You wanted to…?" Shinji's mind creaked to a halt as he gaped slack-jawed at the annoyed girl.

Asuka snorted and reached out a hand to close his mouth, saying delicately, "You better watch what you do with your mouth, Third, little bugs like to fly around at this time."

_What I do with my mouth?_ He thought stupidly, his glance falling on Asuka's smiling lips. "Uhm… yeah… anyway… thanks, I-I'm glad you're here." He stammered tearing his gaze from her face.

Sitting very closely side by side, but not actually touching, the two teenagers let the silence envelope them.

"Shinji, I'm sorry for the eye."

"Eheh?"

"Shut up. Don't say anything. And stop looking at me like that," Asuka grumbled, shoving him to one side.

"The world is ending…" Shinji muttered under his breath, grinning at Asuka and defending himself from her onslaught with one arm. "Ow! Not too hard! It still hurts…"

Asuka felt very warm and tingly despite the chilly night air. She hadn't missed Shinji's quick look at the mention of mouths and it had started her blood pumping. It took all her willpower not to jump the boy when he shot her that impertinent grin.

Shinji swallowed feeling suddenly hot. Asuka was watching him. There was something in her eyes that set off warning bells in his head. His gaze fell helplessly to Asuka's lips.

"Shinji…" Asuka whispered, licking dry lips, intensely aware of Shinji's sharp indrawn breath at the action. With a tilt of her head Asuka brought her face a fraction closer to his.

"Asuka…" Shinji said hoarsely, caught in her eyes.

"Yes…?"

Slowly, Shinji slid a hand behind Asuka's neck, sending shivers spiraling down her sensitized skin. Then with a last ragged groan, he leaned in and caught her parted lips.

Asuka moaned when their lips met. She had been yearning for this, for how long, she didn't know, and didn't care. Shinji's lips were soft and gentle, and deliciously warm and moist. Their bodies weren't touching. There was only Shinji's hand on her nape and his lips on hers and yet it felt to Asuka like she was completely on fire. She moaned, louder this time, and then unable and unwilling to hold back any longer, Asuka curled both arms around Shinji's head, pressed herself against him and deepened the kiss.

Shinji groaned, his lips hardening as he returned Asuka's ardour. The hand on her neck dropped lower to join the other possessively and gently encircling Asuka's waist and back.

It was a long and burning kiss and they were both breathing hard when Shinji broke it.

Still locked in a compromising position and staring into each other's eyes, the two fought for control.

"I hope you aren't just bored again… are you?" Shinji asked hesitantly when they had unwillingly pulled apart.

"No. I don't think I can - hide behind 'bored' anymore."

"Um... that's good."

"Shinji, why did you stop? What you said in the kitchen, do you still mean that?"

"Every word...that's why I stopped." He could tell she was a bit confused. He reached out and took her hand, holding it gingerly but firmly in his own. "Asuka, you do know that I... haha... f-find y-you... ehe...attractive...?" The last bit ended in the barest of whispers with Shinji flushed to the very tips of his ears, "I-it wasn't easy stopping but I... er... want more."

There was silence. Shinji could tell Asuka was thinking about it and then she giggled and Shinji heard her preening in the dark.

"I've always known you found me fatally attractive and now it looks like you can't keep your hands off, too, right, baka?"

Shinji looked into the redhead's dancing eyes and shook his head, "Your ego is hopeless. You know that, don't you?" Shinji remarked, caressing Asuka's palm.

"Baka! _Your_ ego is hopeless. Mine is perfectly alright." Asuka shivered, heat coursing up her arm from her palm at Shinji's unwitting ministrations.

Asuka examined the boy sitting before her. She tasted salty tears when she kissed him, yet now he looked content, face calm and open, and smiling happily at her.

Asuka felt something inside her move and overflow and suddenly she couldn't bear for him not to know. She tackled the boy to the cold hard ground.

Shinji's only response at finding himself on his back with Asuka looming over him was a sudden muffled exclamation and a raised eyebrow.

"Shinji, you know what this means, don't you?"

"No, what does it mean?" Shinji asked, wanting to hear her say it just to be sure.

"That I… that I…" Asuka took a large gulp, face screwed up with the effort. "Um… that I…"

"Hush. Stop it. You don't have to try so hard," disappointment lined his voice.

"Yes I do," she snipped at him, indignant.

"Asuka…"

"Baka Shinji, I l-love you…"

x

x

* * *

_Author's Note: _And there you have it, their first true kiss. Once again, thank you for reading and reviewing! I truly enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. The WAFF muse is still alive and well. The story is not quite complete but the end is near. Arigato gozaimasu! Ja mata! 

Okaeri, Okaeri nasai- welcome home  
baka, dummkopf- idiot, stupid  
Mein Gott- My God


	10. Ties

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Evangelion is not mine.

Sorry this took so long. First I was stuck. Now I'm unstuck. I enjoyed writing the chapter even if it took a while and I do so hope you also enjoy reading it.

Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I truly hope you enjoy this.

* * *

**Evangelion: ****_Nigeru  
_Chapter Nine - Ties  
**01.21.2006

* * *

Asuka's words echoed in Shinji's brain. He was lying on his back, hands anchored firmly around Asuka's waist, looking to the entire world as if something he had hoped for but never in his wildest dreams expected just got handed to him on a silver platter. 

I must be dreaming, he thought, staring at Asuka in dazed wonder. Then Asuka smiled softly at Shinji, all the tenderness in her gaze raising considerable doubt in the boy. Is she serious?

Hastily sitting up, Shinji gently pushed the redhead away.

"What's wrong?" Asuka asked, a small catch in her voice. She had seen his face before he so quickly thrust her away.

"I-I'm sorry… for a second there… you just scared me," Shinji said quietly.

"Scared you…?" Asuka whispered softly, ominously.

"A-asuka… please say you're not messing with me. I don't think I can…"

"ANTA BAKA!" Asuka shrieked, interrupting Shinji and scaring him even more. Hurt and rage warred for control on her face and then, very quickly it seemed to Shinji, rage won. Asuka raised her clenched hand, prepared to let the dummkopf feel her wrath, and aimed for his other eye.

Shinji was frozen for only a split-second before he realized he had done a really stupid thing. To duck or not to duck? Either way, he was a dead man.

Still, some instinct told him that it wouldn't do to get punched twice, once in each eye. Imagine how that would look. Adroitly evading Asuka's fist, Shinji caught her wrist and pulled her to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He said to the struggling girl, mouth running away and becoming quite detached from his brain. "I deserve a good beating. But… please don't hit me again. Well, just not in the eye. Or I'll never hear the end of it from the others. You don't know how irritating those two can get when they gang up on me."

Asuka stopped struggling and suddenly went limp, "Shinji, you moron, you are so stupid sometimes," she sniffed, not wanting to look at him.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry…"

"Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?" Not waiting for an answer, Asuka punched him full in the gut. She heard him gasp and wince but he didn't complain and simply held her in mute apology.

Shinji released her after a while and sat cross-legged on the ground, knees bent and ankles crossed. No good, he decided, he still had to do it. Gulping hard and readying for another strike, Shinji asked, "A-asuka, please, you're not…?"

"Don't say it!" Asuka hissed. Stubborn idiot. Why can't you believe me? She scowled. Apparently violence wasn't working. More drastic measures were in order. Then her face brightened. More drastic measures were in order!

Asuka eyed the small patch of grass between his legs that had her name on it, hesitating for all of two seconds, and then with startling alacrity, she crawled onto the boy's lap and made herself comfortable.

Shinji's look of uncertainty was immediately replaced by a brilliant red color and a pole-axed expression. Happily for Asuka, his instincts remained intact. He held her immediately, shoulders and chest curving protectively against the girl's back and both arms coming around to embrace her loosely.

A warm feeling, that had nothing to do with Asuka's confession, spread through Shinji as the redhead settled herself against him. She wriggled one last time in his lap before nestling solidly against him, making the already blushing boy slightly light-headed as blood in his head was shunted elsewhere.

"Unreal…"

"Baka! Are you complaining?" she flicked the idiot on the forearm.

"No."

"Then why don't you want to believe me?"

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to offend you or anything. It's just that… it'll take time…" he finished lamely and tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"Shinji… you really are stupid."

"I know…" the boy muttered sounding crestfallen.

"Listen," Asuka twisted around to face him, "I may call you an idiot most of the time… but Shinji… you are… you can be…" Asuka could feel herself turning red.

"I don't think I can change, Asuka."

"That's not what I meant! You shouldn't have to change, I don't wish for you to change! I _want_ you the way you are, stupid Shinji so gloomy so early in the morning!" She gripped his hand and squeezed it.

"Gloomy and stupid, huh? And still...?" he smiled silently at her choice of words. "Thanks, Asuka."

The redhead turned away and leant back down against him, sighing dramatically.

"Okay, now your turn," she ordered seriously.

"What's that?"

"Your turn. I want you to tell me why you love me."

"A-asuka…" Shinji protested, slightly panicked, "I can't! I'll just say the wrong thing and you'll hit me again." Then he felt her shoulders heaving and he realized she was laughing.

"Ohhh, this is going to be so much fun," Asuka sniggered for a good five minutes.

"Feh! That's it, no more evening soaps for you. I'm telling the bird to hide the remote."

"But seriously," Asuka continued after she got herself under control. "You should stop putting yourself down, dummkopf, very unhealthy habit. And you shouldn't ever let anyone do that to you, either. Okay, baka?"

"Yes, Asuka." Shinji answered dutifully. _She makes 'baka' sound like... an endearment. Heeehhh! Did I actually get used to it?_

"From now on nobody can insult _my _idiot! Not even you, baka Shinji, understand?"

"Yeah, but… um… you just did, Asuka…" _Four times_, _I might add, though it sounded really sweet. _

Shinji's lips twitched, wondering if he was doing the right thing pointing that out. He bent his head to hide a smile.

"That's different. I live with you. It's natural to squabble," she tossed her hair hitting Shinji in the face. "Oops, sorry. You're almost like my… like my… ahh… like my brother!" she flashed him a triumphant smile.

"Like your brother?"

"You know what I mean," Asuka said sharply. "Are you laughing at me?"

"N-no! I was er- smelling your hair. You smell nice."

"Hmph, are you making fun of me?" she accused.

"No, no! Um… Asuka…" he leaned forward to whisper to her.

"What?" Her back was to Shinji so she couldn't see his face but she shivered at his sudden closeness and felt his arms tighten securely around her in a hug.

"I love you too… very much…" Shinji couldn't help adding, "but not as a sister…" which earned him an elbow in the ribs.

It was cold with dawn still several hours away, but the teenagers, warmed by each other's presence, did not notice. They were excited by this newfound intimacy and sat on that dark windy hill for a long time, snuggling and talking, an age-old tableau of the young and in love.

x

x

Chirping birds, sizzling heat, and sweat-slicked itchy skin. Katsuragi Misato threw off the offending blankets cocooning her from head to toe and crawled doggedly to the bathroom seeking cool water and the toilet.

She hadn't eaten dinner the night before, and had taken the excuse of worrying about her charges to down more than a dozen cans of Yebisu (she was running low); even going so far as to wrestle the last can of the bitter concoction from an indignant penguin. It hadn't been a pretty sight.

Physical exhaustion (from work and her tussle with the bird), alcohol (her entire stock, Penpen's personal hoard, plus an old bottle of she didn't know what but it smelled alcoholic, that she found tucked away at the back of her cupboard), and trying to keep awake and sober enough so she could talk to her children when they got home, weren't really the best of combinations.

So after five hours of uneventful guzzling (the last of that done in the dark), Misato could prolong her agony no longer. She told herself there was nothing to be gained from waiting, and then staggered off to her room to keep her date with her pillow.

Now it was Sunday morning. And here she was in a love affair with the toilet. Hung-over, hot and itchy, still with a headache, and still worried about Shinji. It was really too early to get up but the smell of frying bacon was doing strange things to her stomach.

Misato gave a final non-productive heave into the receptacle in her arms then crept into the shower. She fumbled on the tap and then lay back on the tub to bask gloriously in the blessed cool of the gushing water.

Summer was just around the corner and the weather already promised to be stifling and humid. As the cute weatherman on tv who reminded Misato of Kaji had predicted, last month's cold spell and the weekend's rain showers had completely disappeared, giving way to the lazy, windless, sweat-sticking-to-your-skin-even-after-a-shower day the people of Tokyo-3 had learned to always expect.

"Ohayo, Misato-san!" Shinji greeted her cheerfully as soon as she stepped into the kitchen.

Wonder of wonders. She had been expecting him to be depressed, and here he was setting the table with a thoughtful expression and a lopsided grin. And just hold it one darn minute… the norm for Sunday morning was Shinji with the pan, whether or not it was his turn to cook. Why was Asuka, willingly it seemed, cooking breakfast?

"Baka-Shinji, the eggs just broke and they're running all over. Damn!" the said redhead looked up. "Well, you both have to eat it well done then. And I don't want to hear any complaints, understood?" she scowled at both the woman and the boy.

Sensitive to the undercurrents in her household despite her state of daily inebriation, Misato narrowed her eyes and thought… _What the hell is going on?_

x

Any time now, any time... Misato told herself, picking at her food and longing for a beer.

She watched as Asuka smacked Shinji on the back for daring to say she had burnt breakfast.

She waited and was rewarded by Shinji's foolish and slightly defiant, "Ow! I'm sorry! But you said to be honest!" to Asuka.

To this the girl responded, as expected, by sticking her nose in the air and retorting, "A true gentleman would have _valiantly_ eaten everything up and assured the lady her cooking was perfect!"

Shinji snorted into his scorched eggs. "Then why did you give me your share?"

"_Because_ a true gentleman should _valiantly_ eat everything up and assure said lady that her cooking was perfect!" Asuka repeated herself, eyes slitting dangerously at the laughing boy.

"Aww, Asuka… do I have to? Let's just throw everything away and you can try again tonight."

"Are you stupid? It's your turn tonight."

"Yep," he gave her a playful grin.

"I see… okay, dummkopf, I'll try again tonight," Asuka relented, giving the boy an evil smile, "But you still have to eat everything on your plate."

Shinji wrinkled his nose, "Tell you what, I'll cook tonight as scheduled. We'll throw all of these away," he snatched all their plates, including Misato's and threw the rest of the food in the garbage, "and we'll call it quits."

Asuka glared at him, her fingers itching to feel the back of his head. "Hey! I worked hard on those," she stood up and gave him a soft wallop on the shoulder instead.

"Sorry, you'll get better at it." Shinji assured her, running out of the kitchen.

"I know that, baka!" Asuka screeched, hot on his tail.

Anytime now, anytime… Misato was left waiting, her fork still in the air, but an explanation didn't seem to be forthcoming. _Damn it to bloody hell! WHAT WAS GOING ON?_

x

"Shinji, do you get the feeling Misato doesn't trust us?" Asuka whispered to the boy sitting beside her after their guardian left the room.

"Uh-huh. That's the third time. She's been doing it every hour." Shinji grimaced at Asuka and scooted further away.

"What are you doing?"

"Maybe she suspects something."

"So?"

"I thought you didn't want her to know."

"Oh, yeah. Hmmph, how troublesome."

Whereupon the shoji skidded open again, making Shinji jump. Misato lingered at the doorway for a moment, looking thwarted, and then slowly she slunk out.

"She's giving me palpitations." Shinji blew out the air he was holding, left hand over his racing heart.

"Get used to it." Was the unsympathetic answer.

This behavior continued for a whole week and only succeeded in making Asuka unhappy. Because Shinji... well, Shinji, already jumpy, also became paranoid.

x

x

x

* * *

Two weeks and not counting. And Shinji and Asuka acted pretty much the same way they always did. Deciding not to broadcast their new relationship to the rest of the world, they had instead made bets on who would be the first to figure it out. 

When Misato was called in for her first overnight work in a long time, Shinji and Asuka celebrated the lull by staying up together until the wee hours of the morning watching television. Unfortunately, the next day was Monday and Misato arrived home from work only to find the two still snoring in their beds.

Naturally, she raised a ruckus, and was giving them hell for several minutes before she realized that both Shinji and Asuka were rushing around like headless chickens, getting ready for school with nary a peep. It was unusual enough for Asuka not to complain and Shinji to not apologize that Misato stopped in the midst of her diatribe and raked keen eyes over her guilty charges.

I knew it, she congratulated herself, navigating to the fridge after they left. Misato got herself a beer and then leaned over to scratch Penpen affectionately under the ruff of fat around his neck.

The penguin stopped mid-waddle and let the human scratch his collar, wondering all the while what the commotion was all about. Wark! _Did she finally catch those two?_ Wark, wark, wark! He kept his flipper steady trying hard not to make any of those undignified scratching motions. _Honestly_, _humans are so dense._ _I knew it the moment they walked in that night... Hey you, woman! You owe me a beer…_

Misato absently opened a can of beer for the bird and poured it into his dish. They've done it. I'm so proud of them! They've gotten together, and without any of my meddling. She shook her head worriedly. But this complicates things; I wonder what they'll do when they find out?

x

"She knows." Shinji told Asuka, taking advantage of the deserted school corridor and holding the redhead's hand.

"Yes. You lose, Shinji."

"No, I don't. I told you before, Asuka. _Penpen knows. _I swear that bird was giving me 'the eye' again last night."

"The eye?"

"Yeah. The one that says 'do anything funny and you die.'"

"There you go again. Penpen is just a bird, Shinji. Barring this," the redhead held up their clasped hands, "we haven't even held hands since that first night. You're being too paranoid."

"No I'm not."

"Speaking of which, your friends are such thick dolts. I think Hikari is beginning to suspect, but those two stooges have absolutely no idea. They actually dared to tell me that you, baka Shinji, were never ever going to fall for a de- er, beautiful, sexy, and intelligent woman like me."

"Really?" Shinji asked amused. Those two knew better.

"Geez, Shinji, they'll never figure it out. Let's just tell them! I can imagine the looks on their faces! HAH!" Asuka stopped, eyes closed and an ecstatic expression on her face.

"Must you gloat?" Shinji answered, pulling on Asuka's hand to get her going. "I don't see why you three can't get along," he told her lazily, too happy about being alone with her to bother to rise to her bait.

"Aww, you're no fun anymore. It's getting harder to needle you these days." She pulled him down for a quick peck on the lips and laughed gaily when he turned red. "Hah! But _that_ will never fail," and sauntered off ahead of him.

"We'll get caught if you keep doing that," Shinji called out, shaking his head and hurrying after Asuka.

"But it's so much fun…"

"I thought you decided we wouldn't let anyone know."

"Nooo, we agreed we wouldn't _tell _anyone but if they find out all on their own it's fine with me."

"Oh, is that how it is…? Okay then, come here," Shinji caught Asuka's hand and pulled her to him. Then he kissed her till she sagged against him.

Asuka hid behind Shinji as soon as he released her, weakly using him for support as they continued their walk to the classroom. "Baka! What if someone came?" she whispered still trying to catch her breath.

"Sorry… I've been dying to do that for the past two weeks." Shinji smirked at the girl at his back. She was still flushed and her lips looked slightly swollen. They turned a corner and he paused before their classroom door. "Ready to go in?"

"Yes. Try not to grin too much or I'm sure they'll know exactly what we were just doing." Asuka grunted when Shinji's smile only grew wider. "Pervert…" she said, turning up her nose at him and walking into the room.

x

"Hot damn, I think he's done it," the jock whispered in awe when Asuka and Shinji walked in.

They apologized to the teacher, promised not to be late next time, and shuffled off to their respective seats so the lecture could continue.

Touji caught Shinji's eye, the question in his own very clear. But the boy merely raised one eyebrow before breaking gazes and sitting down quickly.

Then Touji's notebook beeped softly, signaling the receipt of a message.

: hey it's me, did you get a load of that?

: yeah, did he do it?

: I guess so, if that's what I think it was

: what?

: looked like a smirk, yep definitely a smirk

: but Shinji doesn't smirk

: I guess he does now, feast your eyes on Sohryu!

: hot damn! yeah! he's done it

x

Hikari pulled Asuka to the corner of the classroom as soon as the teacher walked out the door.

"Asuka, the truth, tell me the truth! Are you and Ikari-kun…?"

"Since about two weeks now," Asuka answered trying to look bored.

"Eeek – I knew it, I knew it!" Hikari squealed in a very un-classrep manner and hugged Asuka. "It's about bloody time!"

"Eh? Hikari…!" Asuka burst out laughing at her swearing.

"Sorry, I'm just excited and so happy for you."

"So am I!" Asuka gave up her pretense and began squealing, infected by her friend's good humor.

"You're so lucky…" the class rep gave a wistful sigh.

"Hikari, let's go out later," Asuka glanced slyly at the tall jock trying to keep Shinji in a headlock.

Hikari only blushed.

"Come on. I've got to rescue the dummkopf and rub this in those stooges' faces. Let's go to the arcade again, or maybe get something to eat…" Asuka beamed, looking forward to some stooge torture. Then she pulled Hikari with her and went to join the boys.

x

x

* * *

The word was out. The Second and Third Child were off the market. 

Unfortunately for Shinji's fangirls, there wasn't room anymore for accidental cozy run-ins and attempts at meaningful romantic conversation with the male Eva pilot. Only long distance sighing or friendly close encounter chats were now possible.

And that was because his girlfriend, now known far and wide as the 'red devil', was as sharp as an ultrasonic knife and just as deadly.

Although – they grudgingly admitted – she did give allowances for the innocent.

Going so far as to hold her acid tongue and to tease her jumpy boyfriend so he could loosen up a bit and properly say hello to a bunch of squealing grade school girls who had gone out of their way to meet the two Eva pilots by accosting them after the lunch hour.

He, on the other hand, was amazed at the half-pitying, half-respectful looks he got from the boys in his year. Not to mention his agitated surprise when Kensuke handed him an envelope full of the redhead's pictures taken in various unmentionable places in school.

"I should have known," Shinji muttered, shaking his head. "Asuka's going to kill me!"

"Hey, don't tell her. Ignorance is bliss. We don't want to muscle in on your territory, so we are – very unselfishly I might add – handing this over to you."

"Is there any way you could get back those other pictures? The one's I see quickly hidden away whenever I pass by? It's giving me a headache."

"Yeeaahh…" Kensuke drawled suspiciously, "I have a complete list of my customers, but it's going to be expensive getting those back…"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of the cost. My hide won't be worth anything if Asuka finds out about this. Besides, it's irritating the hell out of me."

"Sure thing, Shinji, you're the man!" Kensuke gave Shinji a thumbs up, thankful that he didn't have to return any of the money. "I'll get Touji to help."

And so the days went.

School was almost out.

Summer days were warm as usual.

And for once, everything was right in Ikari Shinji's world.

x

x

x

* * *

_Evangelion Cage-05, 06_

In the deep confines of Nerv HQ, two mammoth beings stood stark white against the gray gleam of steel struts and metal girders. Long jawed with red muscular lips drawn back to reveal metal-plated teeth, the behemoths waited, silent, unseeing, and formidable.

x

x

* * *

_  
_


	11. Choices

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Evangelion is not mine.

Thank you, everyone, for reading and posting reviews. Domo arigato! DarckRedd, thanks for both review and tip. It really helped. Arigato! Here we go. Chapter eleven. Hora...! On with the story.

**

* * *

Evangelion: _Nigeru_  
Chapter Ten - Choices  
02.05.2006

* * *

**_What are you two within my heart?  
Hope. The hope that people might be able to understand one another.  
And the words 'I love you'._  
_-EoE_

x

x

Ikari Shinji, Third Child, sighed as the panels around him blinked green and Misato's voice came through the communications link.

"Good work, Shinji-kun. Get ready to launch."

He had been determined never to step into an Evangelion again, the one place where he could so easily hurt others. He had sworn, dammit, that if his guardian ever gave him the order to come back and pilot, he would say no.

And yet, here he was – sitting in an Eva entry plug once more. Immersed beyond his eyeballs in fluid that reeked faintly of blood, and synchronizing with the monstrosity with distressing ease.

It was with a grim but steady voice that Ikari Shinji answered the Major's orders. "Hai. Ready."

The lift rocketed to the surface at tremendous speed and halted at the top amidst the screeching of brakes and gears. With a whoosh of the metal doors, the Third Child found himself out in the open, just in time to see the first golden tendrils of light streaking the horizon.

He sat there for a moment enjoying the dazzling display and feeling the steady thrum of power in the Eva's S2 engine. Like a pulsing heart sending hot blood to muscle and sinew, the boy felt it as if it were his own.

He fed more energy into the Eva's legs and bent low over the ground. He crouched there for only a second and then he leaped, erupting in flight into the dawn sky of Tokyo-3.

It feels different, Shinji realized vaguely, getting his bearings and then turning in mid-air to fly south. This wasn't like the welcoming and almost familiar melding that was typical of Unit 01. This was more like the time he tried synching with Unit 00. He remembered that occasion; it had not ended well.

Shinji shifted uneasily in his seat, aware that the people on the bridge would pick up on his nervousness.

"What's the matter?" Shinji heard Misato query.

"Nothing. ETA to New Oshima, fifteen minutes."

Despite the lack of difficulty so far, still uppermost in the boy's mind was that several of these grinning red-lipped 'creatures' had ripped Unit 02 apart. Asuka… _Iie_, no time for that now…

"Shinji-kun, increase altitude and maintain at 10,000 feet. There's an MD Freighter in your flight path."

"Hai. Climbing." Shinji checked his console, feeling the Eva ascend, wings beating strongly, solenoid engine humming with power.

So much, the boy thought warily, senses full of the wind as his Eva rose effortlessly. Too much…

_x_

x

x

* * *

_**Shinji and Asuka's Hill  
Several Mornings Earlier**_

"_What the hell are you doing?"_

"_Asuka! I'm sorry! I was just…"_

"_You were what? You think I can't do this on my own? You think I need the Invincible Third Child bargaining so that his girlfriend can do what she wants? You're much more of an idiot than I ever thought!"_

"_It's not like that…"_

"_Haven't you learned anything at all? Pilot, don't pilot, I don't care. Just leave me out of it! I don't need you doing this for me."_

"_Asuka…"_

"_Leave me alone, Baka-Shinji! I don't need your pity. I don't need your help. I hate you… you… you Invincible Third Child!"_

"Mein Gott! Did I really say that to him?"

Asuka Langley Sohryu sat atop the edge of a precipice with the city of Tokyo-3 sprawled below her. She was sitting outside the white fence that enclosed the cliffside using it as a backrest, and she was hot and sweaty from her climb up the hill. The noonday sun smirked uncaringly at her from his place in the sky and sent waves of sizzling air to bake the ground she was sitting on.

She had been ensconced there for the last few hours, eyes red from a recently concluded bout of crying. At first it was from anger; at Nerv, at Misato, at Shinji, at the rest of the world, at the unfairness of it all; then at herself, for speaking as she did to the boy.

The baka! She knew what he had been trying to do. And although she understood it, she did not approve. The idiot was making her his excuse. Stupid Shinji. She couldn't let him do it, even when the results, if he succeeded, was something she wished for. And what did he think of her anyway? She was no slouch. One way or another Asuka Langley Sohryu always gets what she wants. There was never any question about that!

Still, stupid mouth! The girl flinched, once again replaying that morning's scene and recalling how Shinji paled when she flung those hateful words at him.

_How could I be so harsh? Shinji… _

After several more minutes of angrily castigating herself, the redhead became aware of a presence standing right behind her. Hastily rubbing her face on her sleeve she twisted around to yell at whomever it was who dared to invade her privacy.

"You…!"

"Listen, there's something I have to tell you..."

x

x

x

**_Evangelion Cage-05, 06  
The Next Morning_**

"You want me to synch with that?" Shinji's voice quavered in outrage.

"Yes."

"You must be kidding." He shot Misato an affronted look. "Those things tore Unit 02 apart."

"No, these are different ones, although similarly mass-produced. Units 14 and 15."

"Oh," he abruptly deflated, "Why can't Asuka pilot then, if there are two of them?"

"Because Unit 15 is going to Germany. Only 14 is staying here in Japan."

"Well, then if you only need one, why can't Asuka pilot instead of me? It means so much more to her."

"And it still doesn't mean anything to you? After everything that's happened? Everything you've done?" Misato asked displeased. She gave Shinji a steely fed up glare. Sometimes she despaired of Shinji ever doing anything without trying to run away.

"It's not that simple, Misato-san," Shinji answered earnestly, "You've always known how I felt. If someone else could do it, I would have refused. As it is… well, Asuka could do it… and I thought everyone in class could be pilots."

"Yes, but at this early stage it's not feasible to train another Child so nothing's going to change anytime soon. Asuka can't pilot Unit 14, there's nothing I can do about that either."

Shinji grunted and turned back to gaze at the waiting giants. The silence grew until Misato couldn't help but break it. She was saddened that Shinji still felt the way he did. She was worried, too. What will he do when he finds out?

"Shinji-kun… you shouldn't _have _to do this. You shouldn't _feel_ that you have no choice. You shouldn't…"

Shinji turned to his guardian and smiled guiltily. "Hey, it's alright. I'm not being forced into anything. As for not liking it… well, that can't be helped. I just need to go to Izu, right? Examine some of the volcanic isles?"

"Yes. We've had reports of new impact craters appearing in that region lately. We need to find what's causing them. But Shinji, your involvement with Eva doesn't end there."

"It doesn't? But… there are no more angels..."

"Nerv has been dissolved and we are officially part of the JSSDF now. The government has put in a lot of money to rebuild Tokyo-3 and, even with violent objections from the international community, they want to continue Eva."

Misato steeled herself, expecting Shinji to balk at her words. But the boy just blinked surprised eyes at her; eyes that quickly turned grave as he regarded the woman thoughtfully.

"The Defense Force, huh? Military. Misato-san," he caught her gaze and said quietly, "I don't think I like warring amongst ourselves. You can tell them that now."

Taken aback, Misato looked closer at Shinji, and the boy looked curiously back.

He actually meant it! Not a very vocal refusal. Just a certain tone in his voice and that gleam of stubbornness in the eyes. But there was no doubt about it, he was drawing his line - the Generals could go eat their hats.

"I understand…" Misato agreed slowly, "Shinji-kun, when did you learn to do that?"

"Do what?"

"What you just did."

The boy looked at her, puzzled and trying to think, "Misato-san, I'm not sure what you mean," he finally answered, a sheepish smile on his lips.

Shinji-kun… Misato blinked back a small tear. _Oh, Kaji… he'll be okay… you were right…! _

Shinji watched the unexpected play of emotions on his guardian's face. Why is she crying? He thought, a bit concerned. Gosh, women are confusing…

"Misato-san, are you all right?"

She nodded sniffing.

Glancing at the woman beside him, Shinji remembered the last time she had shed tears. _I should apologize. I owe her much. _

"Anou, Misato-san, that time… when Kaji-san died…" he heard Misato gasp, "Eheh? I'm sorry! Please don't cry!"

_Idiot! How do I manage to screw up these things? _Shinji stepped closer and awkwardly patted the tearful woman's shoulder.

"Um… I heard you that time, but I was afraid to do anything. I'm sorry."

Misato brought out a handkerchief and started blowing noisily on it.

"Um… and also that other time... you know…when Asuka was fighting those things... what you er - did, and said...it helped, so- eh? Misato-san!"

It was several minutes before the weepy Major could let go of the discomfited boy and get herself under control. She managed it though, with a lot of help from the good doctor whose acerbic comments came through loud and clear via the speaker system in the cages. Shinji watched embarrassed as Misato, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'my baby's growing up' shook a good-natured fist at her friend. The boy had realized too late, they were standing near a sensor and everything had been seen and heard on the bridge.

"Misato-san, before we start, I know you said you can't do anything about it but… why can't Asuka pilot? She's better at it than I am."

_Better? Is she? Yes, but... also no. _"She's still not talking to you?" Misato couldn't look at him.

"No. It's a mess." Shinji hung his head. "She said she hated me."

"Are you giving up?" She asked softly.

"No!" He shook his head, "We just need to talk. Soon."

"And you really want to know why she can't pilot?"

"Yeah." Shinji caught Misato's sorrowful gaze.

"I'm sorry Shinji, Germany wants Unit 15 and their pilot back. Asuka… is going to Germany."

x

x

Like an old broken record stuck on the same sad refrain, Shinji's brain repeated the line – Asuka is going to Germany.

It persisted throughout the entire drill, running endlessly at the back of his mind – Asuka is going to Germany.

It was a miracle he got through the morning.

Afterwards, Shinji quickly walked to the boys' empty locker room, still unable to grasp what he had been told. Misato had said a lot more (something about why the European branch wanted the German-made Unit 15 and Asuka back) after she had answered his question, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what.

The boy staggered to a bench and bent a forlorn head into his hands. Damn. Damn. Damn. It's just so unfair.

She's leaving! There was no way he could keep her from this. Nor did he wish to. Stupid life.

x

x

_**Katsuragi Apartment  
**__**The Same Night**_

The Second Child was looking out her window thinking it was going to rain when a knock sounded at her door.

"Hey, we're home," the whispered voice of their guardian carried clearly through the rice paper.

"How did it go?" Asuka asked, after she quickly let the woman in.

Misato sank down on the redhead's bed and gave her a long look. "It went well. Considering."

Asuka sighed and gave her a small smile. "So he's finally made up his mind. That's good. I'm proud of him."

"Don't you think you ought to tell him that?" Misato asked pointedly.

"No, not yet. I d-don't know what to tell him… and I-I'm afraid I might say something I might regret… again. Where…?"

"He's cooking dinner."

x

x

"Asuka, we need to talk." Shinji caught the girl right after supper, before she could disappear back into her room. He stared at the redhead, wondering if she already knew.

"Shinji! No, I can't right now!" Asuka answered frantically. "Please, j-just let me be…" she hurried to her room and quickly closed the shoji behind her.

Shinji retreated into his room. He stood silent for minute, head bowed in the dark, and then in a fit of sudden temper he kicked the side of his bed.

"Ouch! Ouch! Dammit!" He hopped to his bed on one leg and sat down. She still didn't know. Stupid boy. She's leaving. Soon. He could feel it. They couldn't waste time fighting.

Shinji stood up and strode determinedly to the door intending to nag some sense into the redhead, but he stopped abruptly just inside of it.

"She can't right now. What reason do I have to force her? I can't tell her I know…" Shinji leaned his head weakly on the jamb and then slid to the floor in a slump. "Tomorrow then. Definitely, tomorrow."

x

x

x

x

It was a night like no other. To be remembered in the collective minds of Tokyo-3's population as the night the wind blew the school roof off.

It was actually an old roof, in need of much repair, but on the night it came loose and disappeared unfettered into the dark, a storm raged and howled with maniacal glee, inundating the city with such sudden swiftness that it caught the people unaware.

Undercover of this gale, a shadow crept, silent and stealthy, into the Third Child's room. It paused for a moment to regard the slightly open window, and then it moved to stand beside the boy's bed. Eyes gleaming and face twisted, it stared hungrily at his sleeping form. It stood unnaturally still for what seemed like ages, and then suddenly it hissed… and pounced.

Shinji never had a chance.

"Ooof…!" he cried, voice muffled by the weight on his face and chest. He struggled to see, pushing an abundant amount of red hair out of his face.

Shinji managed to free himself but was struck speechless the minute sight returned, because the redheaded intruder was now pulling his sheet up and climbing into bed with him.

"Asuka," he whispered stupidly, throat suddenly dry, "You're here! I… I thought you hated me..."

"Baka-Shinji! I-I'm s-sorry… I was angry… it's not your fault." Asuka couldn't help smiling at the look on the boy's face. "Budge over, dummkopf. I can't sleep, been having those nightmares again." She huddled into the crook of Shinji's arm using it as a pillow and pulled the sheet up to their necks. "Much much better. Goodnight, Shinji."

That seemed to get the boy going and he squeaked in a hoarse whisper, "Asuka… you can't sleep here!"

"Why not? Not the first time we've snuggled together."

"B-but… that was different! We hadn't… we weren't… yet…" Shinji struggled from his bed and the girl in it. His feet got entangled with the blanket and he fell to the floor with a muffled thump.

Asuka sat up and gusted mightily. "What now?" She reached out, gave Shinji a hand up, and then started pulling him back to bed.

"No, no! Asuka, I won't be able to keep my hands off of you," he moaned, loosening the girl's hold on his wrist.

"Yes, you can." The boy tried to back off but Asuka grabbed a fistful of shirt.

"Hah! You'd enjoy that, won't you? Driving me crazy…" Shinji accused trying to pry her hands from his clothes.

"Aww, don't be such a baby. What's a little pain and torment? It's good for the soul."

Shinji snorted and stopped his half-hearted thrashing. Damn, she's strong. Okay, he chided himself, this is what you get for not taking her seriously. By this time, the redhead had him pinned to the bed with her whole weight.

"Get off, please… this is not a good idea." He said trying to sound stern.

"Baka-Shinji! Why? I miss you, and I sleep so well when I'm with you. I feel safe…"

"Don't…"

"Why not? You've never done anything…" Asuka trailed off and her eyes widened when Shinji glared at her meaningfully.

"That's right." Shinji dropped his eyes and waited for Asuka to move.

"Baka Shinji!" She clouted him on the chest until he met her eyes squarely. "When?"

"Wh-when you were in a coma. I was trying to wake you and somehow your clothes…"

"You touched me?"

"No! B-but something just as bad…" he said miserably.

"Verdammt wichser!" the girl glared at the boy. "When were you planning to tell me?" She asked, poking him painfully in the ribs.

"Ow! I don't know." He confessed truthfully.

The redhead frowned at the unhappy boy pinned underneath her and came to a decision.

"Idiot," she growled, "Do you do that as a habit?"

"What? No. Er – just you… sorry…"

"I thought so. Great. At least the pervert thinks I'm special," Asuka raised a sarcastic brow. She got off the boy and resumed her snuggling.

"What are you doing?"

"Baka! What does it look like?"

"I just told you this wasn't a good idea."

"What? Go back to my room and my nightmare and miss the chance to mess with my very own pervert's mind and traumatize him a bit more? Hell no! Take this as your punishment, dummkopf! I love you… but you better not try anything!"

Shinji groaned, his arm around the girl tightening. "Asuka…" he tried one last time to talk some sense into her.

"Will you stop whining and go to sleep?"

_Stop whining…? Go to sleep…? Oh brother…_

Shinji tried to calm himself and obediently closed his eyes. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop himself, pervert that he was, he imagined Asuka leaving.

"Ouch, Shinji, not too tight."

"Sorry."

His body eventually relaxed, getting used to the comforting feel of the girl beside him. When he was sure she was asleep, Shinji placed a chaste kiss on the redhead's forehead. Then he shifted sideways still hugging her, tucked her head under his cheek and tried to sleep.

_Be happy, Asuka. And be well. I'll miss you. _

x

x

x

x

Shinji knew it was coming. Asuka had been acting funny for the last two days. He had caught her several times already; lost in deep thought, a small smile frozen on her face, and a sad expression in her eyes.

Soon, he thought. He wondered if he was ready. Probably not…

When it finally happened, it hit him like a horse's kick to the groin. An extremely strong metal shod horse's kick right smack on the dangling duo.

It took all he had to smile for her.

They were sitting side by side pretending to watch television when Asuka suddenly turned to him.

"Shinji…" she began hesitantly, placing a light hand on his knee, "They asked me…"

"I know." Shinji took her hand and smiled.

Asuka sought the boy's eyes and saw… that he understood.

"What about…?"

"It's alright, I'll be okay. Don't worry about it. You need to go, Asuka. There was never any question about that." Shinji knew he was babbling but he couldn't seem to help it. "I'll miss you though. So don't forget to write me, or call me. I'll… do the same… "

"If only…"

Shinji shook his head, stopping her words. "Just make sure you take care of yourself, or else…!" he made a fierce face at her.

Asuka laughed, and nodded, knowing that his threat was empty. Because there was no way Shinji could make good on it, half a world away.

She wanted to hug him and never let him go. Maybe she could beg them to let him come with her. It's not fair. I need more time!

Asuka composed herself and turned to Shinji, "What do we do now?"

"When are you…?"

"Tomorrow."

"I'll help you pack."

x

x

x

_So this is how it feels to get used to pain. It's not so bad. Okay who am I fooling…?_

"Shinji…" Asuka extended a hand and plucked at the boy's sleeve. He smiled lovingly at her and then enveloped her in a crushing hug. _Baka! Don't let me go. Don't let me go. Don't let me go… _

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Shinji said, releasing her, and tucking a stray curl around her ear.

Asuka nodded, tears welling in her eyes and threatening to fall. "Goodbye, dummkopf…" She nodded to Misato and then turned and ran, unwillingly hearing the baka's softly spoken words as it was carried by the wind.

"Sayonara, Asuka…"

The Nerv aircraft lifted vertically off the runway in a rush of black smoke and exhaust. Shinji shielded his eyes, watching the craft's wings angle outward with a metallic whine.

"Misato-san, what did Asuka say when she found out?" The boy asked, making conversation.

"That it's unfair."

_Yes, it is._ He wholeheartedly agreed.

"They briefed her when you did your first synch test."

Shinji turned wide eyes at the woman as realization clicked into place. Then his head snapped back to watch the transport as it climbed higher and higher and disappeared into the clouds.

He had wondered why Asuka had forgiven him so easily for his so unforgivable act.

That night, in his bedroom - she had already known.

x

x

x

* * *

"ETA five minutes. Misato-san, I have a visual of Mt. Mihara. But I need to slow down, I'm flying too low and I don't think the folks are happy to see me." 

"Roger that, Shinji."

"Where do you want me to look first?"

"Do a fly by of all the islands so we can document those craters. Then you'd have to land, we'll decide where later."

"Okay."

There were seven craters in all, scattered among the volcanic isles ringing the southern side of the island of New Oshima. Shinji landed in the center of the largest one and started feeding close ups to Nerv.

"Shinji, we need photographs of the walls as well." Dr. Akagi's voice interrupted Shinji's examination of what looked like metal fragments. "Don't forget to send us everything you have."

"How?" the boy asked, obediently striding to the edge of the crater.

"Just feed all your console readouts to us."

"I see, yes. Here it comes."

x

"That seems to be everything." The doctor said after a good thirty minutes. "Good work. Return to base."

"Hai. Returning to base." Shinji extended and unfurled Unit 14's wings and was soon airborne. "Dr. Akagi…"

"Yes, Shinji?"

"These don't look like meteor craters."

"I agree."

x

Shinji was over flying the northernmost isle of Izu when a blur of motion caught his eye.

"Misato-san, there's something in the water. I'm going to land."

"No. Can you tell what it is?"

"No… kuso…!"

x

The isle had been formed by lava and pyroclastic flow from seven volcanic centers. However, the last eruption was apparently years in the past since much vegetation had sprouted on the isle's fertile soil.

Shinji reacted on instinct.

Retracting his wings and dropping like a stone, he narrowly avoided the projectile that arced over his head. He landed heavily on the ground. Feet making dents on the hard soil and throwing up dirt and greens.

Blue flames billowed from the projectile's rear end as it turned in a wide semicircle and zoomed straight for him.

"Shinji! What's happening?"

"Rocket. No problem." The boy responded as he expanded his AT field, detonating the missile harmlessly.

"Who could be shooting at you? This is still restricted airspace."

"Um… I think it's that black fella over there. Shit! I don't even have a knife?" the boy asked, frantically searching for the familiar button.

"Calm down, Shinji, we've modified Unit 14's design so you are equipped with a progressive knife. It's on your right thigh, button's lower, still on the right."

"Great! You have to tell me these things ahead of time... that's what drills are for... uh-oh!"

"We didn't expect... Shinji?"

The black giant darted closer, stopping just outside of the Eva's reach, long black extensions whipping from its back like striking twin snakes.

Shinji slapped the pneumatic switch and his thigh compartment sprang open. He snatched his prog knife just as violently undulating coils wrapped rigidly around him.

Gears whirred, the whips retracted, Shinji lurched dangerously near his adversary.

_Crap, that looks like it's going to hurt! _he thought as he eyed the gleaming scythe the machine brandished from behind its back.

He hooked a hand around the taut cords between them and dug his heels into the ground, hard.

Eva jerked to a halt.

A quick slice. A strong yank. And he was free.

In time to face his foe now hurtling towards him, deadly blade in hand.

Shinji spun to his left to avoid collision, ducked a lethal swipe. Gripping the prog knife two-handed, he gave a hard upward slash.

The blade buried itself in the machine's armor, cleaving it easily from belly to shoulder.

His momentum taking him well beyond the enemy, Shinji turned on his heels to face it again.

It was leaking green fluid. But it went down on one knee and aimed, then fired multiple rockets.

Once again, Shinji's AT field went up. Stopping the projectiles in a violent flash of debris and flames.

When everything cleared, his black foe was nowhere to be seen.

x

x

x

* * *

Iie - No  
Hai - Yes  
Verdammt wichser - damn jerk-off

_Author's Note: _Gomen nasai! Don't hurt me please... I really can't say anything except life's like that and the next chapter will be up soon. Promise and hope to die. (slinks off with word processor to hide under rock)

I hope I didn't muddle the tiny bit of non-waff too much. I've always wanted to try my hand at some action but it took me two whole days to write and polish the measly 500 words of it in the fic. I tip my hat off to everyone who has ever written an exciting piece!

Feedback (good or bad) would be lovely. Review or email me. I would really like to know what you think. Ja!


	12. In My Heart

Standard Disclaimers Apply: I don't own Shinji or Asuka.

Hello! I had this almost done when I uploaded the last chapter. I just needed to write some more parts then do a lot of tweaking and polishing. And since I didn't have work yesterday, I thought what the hell…

So without further ado…

**

* * *

Evangelion:_ Nigeru_**_  
_**Chapter Eleven – In My Heart  
**02.07.2006**

* * *

**

_I still don't know where to find happiness... But I'll continue to think about whether it's good to be here... whether it was good to have been born. But in the end, it's just realizing the obvious over and over again. Because I am myself. -EoE  
_  
x

x

x

**_(The Previous) Third Branch, Germany_**

The girls' locker room was empty save for the redhead seated at the farthest corner of the bench, fastening the last buttons on her blouse. A black backpack was lying open on the tiled floor, a red plugsuit thrown carelessly over it.

_Why do I pilot? _

The redhead studied the back of her hands tracing its subtle map of blue-veins with her eyes.

_Because I am the best, I am number one._

She turned a hand over and made a hard fist.

_Because if I protect these people… they will see how magnificent I am, and they will praise me. _

She stood up abruptly and stuffed the plugsuit in the bag.

_Then they will love me. _

She slung the pack over her shoulder and started walking to the door.

_And need me. _

Banged a fist on a locker as she strode past.

_And then… _

The redhead stopped. Head bent. Fist still clenched. Hot tears coursing down her face in rivulets.

_I will never be alone. _

"Asuka?" A male voice called through the locker room door. "Are you ready?"

_What was it Misato said that day on the cliff? _

Asuka hastily scrubbed her face on her sleeve. "Not yet! Give me a few more minutes."

_Pilot, student, lover, friend. We all have more than one role to play in our lives. _

She rummaged in her pack for some make-up to cover the obvious traces of weeping on her face.

_And everyone has to choose which one matters the most. _

x

_x_

x

x

It was a large room, decorated with gay banners, and lit softly with yellow lamps half-hidden in the recesses of ceiling and walls. Lively music filled the room, the beat urging the women seated at the tables to grab partners and shimmy on to the floor.

The staff party for the newly named and privately funded research group previously known as Nerv Third Branch was a clear success.

Except at one table.

_Only three months! How in the bloody world can it have been ONLY three months? _

Asuka Langley Sohryu leaned back in the plush velvet lined chair and sighed.

_Hell! I feel like I've been here for so much longer than that._

She clinked the ice in her soda and tried to smile at her solicitous companion. Dark hair, blue eyes, debonair, handsome, and terribly attracted to her.

Asuka declined the offer of a dance, sighing into her drink once again.

"Asuka, how was work in the cages today? Killed any giant robots lately?"

_Same old. Same old._

"Fine, just the usual. You weren't at the bridge today? And no… no giant robots to push around anywhere."

_Except back home with baka-Shinji._

"No, I couldn't come to the bridge today. Won't you tell me what you're thinking? You've seemed preoccupied these last two weeks."

_Puh-leeze! Last two weeks? I've been out of it since I got here, buster._

"Oh, nothing much." Asuka smiled brightly. Then she turned away, buried her face in her hands, and growled into it.

"Asuka?"

"What?" she snapped at him, looking up and arching one questioning brow.

"You're not acting like yourself tonight. Tell me what's wrong." His eyes gazed into hers earnestly.

For a moment, Asuka stared into his blue orbs and lost herself in visions of being with someone else. Dimly, at the back of her mind, she wondered how to tell him that the only reason her heart fluttered each time he looked at her this way was because his eyes reminded her of Shinji.

"Asuka?"

Sound and sight abruptly refocused and Asuka shook her head impatiently. "I'm sorry." She sighed, sadly this time, and looked down, adding very quietly, "I'm just missing someone horribly."

He was silent for a long while but she never noticed.

Then he cleared his throat and asked gently, "You've been sighing the whole night… did you love him very much?"

Asuka shook her head and couldn't help grinning into his eyes. "_Still _love him very much!" she corrected, "Gloomy baka that he is." Eyes shining softly she babbled at his face. "I talked to him two weeks ago but he had to go off somewhere for several days so he's still not back, the dummkopf! He better be okay or I'll kill him!" Asuka scowled worriedly, imagining the pounding she would give Shinji over the phone when she talked to him again.

"Asuka…?"

The redhead started, and grinned sheepishly at her companion.

"Ahh, well…" he smoothed his hair, hiding his disappointment. "I've always suspected there was someone else. And yet…"

"You chose to stick with me." Asuka took his hand and squeezed it warmly. "We've had a wonderful time and you've become a very good friend. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you last week when you… " She cupped a light palm to his cheek. "Forgive me?"

He took her hand and held it in his for an instant. "How can I not?"

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for some time and then suddenly, Asuka stood up and swiftly gathered her purse and her coat. "I have to leave."

"Why? Where are you going?"

_Ie ni kaerimasu._ "I'm going home."

x

x

x

x

x

**_Tokyo-3 Public 1st Junior High School  
3-A Classroom_**

Ikari Shinji was not having a good day. Heck, he was not having a good year. Asuka had left soon after school started and ever since she'd been gone he had been living with a permanent pain in his chest.

Maybe... he had blocked arteries? Or maybe... a valve prolapse? Wait, he certainly had palpitations often. Maybe... an abnormal heart rhythm...

"Or maybe..." Touji knocked briskly on Shinji's skull, "it's a head problem," he growled, frowning down on his friend.

The male Eva pilot was sitting on his desk clutching the left side of his chest and making weird faces. He had also been muttering under his breath, quite oblivious to his worried friends, until Touji so rudely interrupted him.

"Huh?"

"I mean it, Ikari. There is something seriously wrong with you."

Shinji scratched his head smiling, "Don't worry about me! I'm okay," he lied, brushing away their concern, as he had been doing for the last three months.

"Shinji, looking up heart conditions in a medical textbook does not spell okay." Kensuke butted into the conversation, standing beside Suzuhara.

"Alright, alright! Calm down. I'm fine."

"Shinji, why don't you go out with Kana-san and just forget about Sohryu?"

Shinji shook his head and stood up. "I'm fine. Stop making a big deal out of this. Look, if I'm not worrying about it, why should you?" He smiled at his friends.

"Because we're your buddies! It's our job to worry!" The two boys sputtered.

"Yeah, yeah. Thank you! But you don't have to." Shinji walked to the door and looked left and right at the deserted corridor. "Um… I'm skipping class. I'll see you all tomorrow, okay?"

"Where are you going?" Touji and Kensuke tried to run after him but Shinji was already turning the corner.

"To the park!" he mouthed, before he disappeared from view.

Hikari walked up to the stooges who were peering out the door. "Asuka wasn't home last night and her landlady said she didn't know when she'd be back. Do you know why Shinji was absent from class for almost two weeks?"

"Yeah. Some operation down south he said." Kensuke answered.

"I see. Well, he just got back and he hasn't spoken to her since before he left."

"How do you know this?"

"He told me on the way to school this morning. Asked if I knew where she was."

"The demon is in Germany. Shinji should let it go." Touji said grimly.

"Yeah," Kensuke agreed nodding sagely, "Shinji needs to get laid," and earned himself a pinch on the ear from the class rep.

"You two should stop forcing him to do something he's not ready for." Hikari admonished. "It's actually very romantic. A long distance love affair!" Hikari sighed softly.

"It never works." Both stooges declared loudly.

"Quiet! I know. But he's still willing to try. So start helping him you two. When he's ready to let go... we'll know. And you'll both be there for him, right?"

x

x

x

Droning voice.

Running feet.

And the sound of the classroom door sliding open.

A second – of hushed silence.

Then a breathless voice, "Where…?"

x

x

x

x

The Third Child sprawled on his favorite park bench underneath the shade of a large maple tree with a sign tacked onto its front. Legs stretched and both arms hanging from the backrest, he let his thoughts idle, as he was wont to do since he discovered this haven three months ago.

"Tsk, tsk," a voice said to him from behind.

Shinji craned his neck up and back to see who had snuck up on him.

"Oh, hi Kana-san. Did you skip class, too?"

"Hello, Shinji-kun. May I join you?"

"Um, okay."

The dark haired girl sat slowly beside him. But she remained quiet, not wanting to start the conversation.

"Sorry. I'm not good company right now." Shinji finally said, after a good several minutes of silence.

"That's alright. Nice brooding spot."

"Thanks."

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Feeling a little bored?"

"Yeah."

"How about going somewhere with me?"

"Kana-san…"

"As friends! Nothing more. Come on, it might be fun."

"I guess…" the boy said doubtfully.

"We could go to that arcade you and your friends like."

Shinji closed his eyes, listening to the unusual rustling of the tree behind them.

Kana was looking at him hopefully when he turned to her again.

"I thought there weren't any wild animals in Tokyo-3 anymore," he said conversationally.

The girl shrugged. "Well, they have been replanting a lot of trees lately. This park is fairly new. Maybe they imported animals, too. Shinji-kun…"

"I'm sorry, Kana-san. I can't."

"It would be good for you." She coaxed gently. Then added softly but truthfully, "You know these things never work out."

Shinji sighed but didn't bother to answer.

"I don't think she's coming back."

The boy gave her a long look.

"I'm really sorry, Kana-san. I can't." He said kindly. "You should go back to class instead of wasting your time here. Noriko-san is probably looking for you."

She bowed her head. "So that's it?"

"I'm sorry."

The girl stood up sorrowfully, "Ok, bye, Shinji-kun. I'll see you around." And left without looking back.

x

Shinji watched sadly as the dark-haired girl hurried away. He wished he'd brought his SDAT player, but he was rushing to talk to Hikari that morning and neglected to grab it from the bed.

The loud creaking of an overhead branch and the snapping of twigs made him look up.

Shinji stood and stared curiously at the swaying leaves and the flash of something yellow.

What could it be? Something large, by the sound of it.

He walked closer to the tree and stopped under a shaking branch.

"Uh-oh! Eeeek!" A shrill voice and the sound of breaking wood split the peaceful air.

A body plummeted from the depths of the russet foliage, right in the astonished boy's direction. Shinji instantly braced himself to break its fall, catching it before it hit the packed earth, the force knocking him to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

"You…!" Shinji's voice shook and his body trembled with adrenalin. He looked at the tree and realized she could have been seriously hurt. "What the hell were you thinking?" he shrieked at the girl.

"Nothing, you idiot boy!" the girl screeched back. Standing and then dusting herself off, she glowered balefully at the diminishing sight of Kana.

"Obviously! Dammit, Asuka, you could have broken your neck!" Shinji yelled more quietly, picking himself up and trying to control his temper. He glared at Asuka until she broke eye contact and turned her back on him.

"Itai… baka-Shinji… all your fault…! Kuso… I think my ankle is broken… Ow… ow…ow…" Asuka muttered, limping off to sit at the base of the tree.

Shinji clapped a hand to his face and hung his head in despair at her willfulness, but all the while his heart was singing.

Once Shinji regained his self-control, he stalked over to where Asuka sat and squatted down beside her. "Here, let me see that." He mumbled roughly as careful fingers examined Asuka's ankle.

"I heard everything you know. What makes you think I need your help, baka?" Asuka snapped trying to slap his hands away.

"If you heard everything then you know what I said. So what are you so mad about?" Shinji asked softly, deftly looking for broken bones and completely ignoring Asuka's hisses of pain and "that's not the point" and "I'm still going to get her."

Finding nothing broken, Shinji asked Asuka to move her foot and wiggle her toes.

"Don't want to," she sulked petulantly.

"A-asuka… please?" Shinji sighed, shooting her a pleading look.

Staring at the anxious boy for a moment, Asuka relented, "Itai!" she said softly, biting her lip, "That hurts!"

"I guess it'll be all right." Shinji said, looking relieved. "Looks like a sprained ankle. Put some ice on it as soon as you get home."

"And where is that?"

"What? I don't know. What are you doing here, Asuka?"

"You let me go!" Asuka jabbed a furious finger at Shinji's chest.

Shinji didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Slowly he drew away from her and stood up. Now that he knew she was okay, he could think about this. She was here! She was real!

"I'm sorry. I had to. It's what you want."

"No." Asuka shook her head.

Shinji just smiled, and for the first time in months it reached his eyes.

"How long are you staying?"

"What?"

"How much time do we have?"

For a scant few months they had been a real couple so that for once in his life Shinji had believed everything was going to _be _right. Then she had had to go.

"I missed you!" His grin widened.

Asuka stared at Shinji. His eyes were shining, he was truly happy to see her. But there was also a weary seriousness etched on his face, in his bearing. She could see it in the lines around his eyes, in the droop of his shoulders, and in the way his hands trembled.

"Baka-Shinji!" she whispered, standing up abruptly and limping to him. "I hate it when you're right. I wanted it..." She placed both hands on Shinji's shoulders, "Or rather… I thought I did…" and pulled.

His lips were soft, but unresponsive with shock, that is, until Asuka trailed a moist tongue over them. Then Shinji groaned, all his senses suddenly ablaze. He caught her shoulders and thrust her away slightly so he could see her face, "Asuka…?"

"I'm here to stay, baka. I've already fixed it with Misato. Now shut up and kiss me!"

Several seconds of disbelief, then Shinji's face lit up in a dazzling grin. A small part of him was saying he should inquire more into it, but most of him didn't care. She was staying. With him. He smiled crookedly down at the redhead, and then slowly bent his head and caught her lips.

It was a long and leisurely kiss, deliberate and unhurried, as if Shinji still couldn't quite believe what was happening and wished to savor the moment, tasting and exploring every inch of Asuka's parted lips.

_Shinji_, she thought giddily, drunk with his closeness and captivated with the feel of his arms around her.

Then Shinji paused to draw breath and Asuka took the opportunity to inch herself even closer to him. _Boy did he miss me! I'm so good! I'm number one! _She exulted, leering up into the boy's half-lidded eyes.

Unexpectedly, she saw something in their depths flare and burst into full flame. Then Shinji's lips quirked in an infinitely masculine grin, and all Asuka could do was gape open-mouthed as he brought his lips down on hers once again, in a searing white-hot kiss.

Her knees buckled and her senses reeled. All she could do was cling to him, returning the kiss as eagerly as he.

_I'm home…_ was the only thought her brain could muster.

x

x

x

_Lub-dub… lub-dub… lub-dub… _

_Ahh, the sound of my dummkopf's heart..._

"Asuka?"

"Hmmm…?"

"Um, are you all right?" Shinji asked, a touch of anxiety in his voice, both arms still firmly wrapped around the girl.

She lifted her face from Shinji's chest, where she had hidden it after that earth-shattering kiss, and nodded bemusedly up at him.

Absently, Asuka started filing random facts into her still sluggish brain. _My dummkopf looks so cute all flushed and anxious like that. And that grin… swoon… Mein Gott!… where did it come from? I must have missed him more than I thought. Is that even possible…? _

"Baka-Shinji, I didn't know you had such a sexy smile," she giggled coyly running both palms up the incredulous boy's chest.

"What are you up to?" Shinji asked suspiciously, she had never said that to him before.

"Ahhh, Shinji," Asuka gazed meaningfully into his skeptical eyes, "You may be a wuss and a pervert. But you're _my_ wuss and _my_ pervert! Got that?"

"Eh? Y-yes, Asuka." He grinned.

"Asuka-sama… from now on you have to call me Asuka-sama! And you tell those two stooges they have to bow down to me and grovel for the rest of the year. That will be their punishment for thinking that I'd leave you, baka-Shinji, to the mercies of that sneaky bitch girl who thinks she can get her claws into you while my back is turned…"

"Asuka…" Shinji looked alarmed.

The redhead broke out laughing, "Shinji! You're making this too easy!" She gurgled in delight. Oh how she missed teasing this boy. "Quit looking so worried, I didn't mean any of it."

"That's a lie."

"Ok, maybe just that last part. Someone is going to get her ass kicked…"

"Asuka!"

"Okay, okay. I'll leave her alone. I guess I can't really blame her for trying to steal you, I'd do the same thing." Asuka grumbled, her hands doing dangerous things to the skin on Shinji's nape. "But you really need to loosen up a bit, Third, or I'm going to have a lot of fun at your expense."

"Hah! We'll see about that." Shinji growled, flushing a deep red and tightening his grip on the amused girl.

"Awww, did I just get a rise from little Shinji?" Asuka tittered, a predatory gleam in her eye.

"Damn right you did."

"Excellent... how promising…"

And Shinji proceeded to show Asuka just how much of a rise she got…

x

x

x

x

x

x

OWARI

* * *

Ie ni kaerimasu -I'm going home  
Hai -Yes  
Itai! or itai -Ouch! or painful, hurting, sore  
Kuso, chikuso -Crap  
Sama -honorific, as in Asuka-sama; equivalent to calling someone My Lord or My Lady

A/N:

Owari. Tapos. End. Whew! And that, my friends, is the end of this fic. Just an epilogue or omake left to upload to handle the loose ends, but essentially this story is finished. I won't apologize for the happy ending because I _want_ Shinji and Asuka to be together. The end of one story is the beginning of another and I think theirs should be an exciting (it is Shinji and Asuka after all) and hopefully satisfying one.

I feel I just need to answer one question. Why did I bring action into a waff fic? Because I had to bring piloting an Evangelion into the story so it felt kinda right. Also, I wanted to try my hand at it. Was it clear enough why Asuka did what she did? I wanted her to make a choice. I hope it was alright. I tried my best, honestly!

Thank you all for reading and giving me all those wonderful suggestions and feedback. I enjoyed every minute of it. So anyway, be well! I hope you also had fun. Till next time!

Hidari


	13. Epilogue: The Life We Make

_"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"  
"That dependes a good deal on where you want to get to."  
"I don't much care where -" said Alice.  
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat. _

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**

* * *

Evangelion:_ Nigeru_**_  
_**Epilogue - The Life We Make  
**02.18.2006

* * *

The sun was dipping low in the horizon and the shadows were growing longer. Ikari Shinji hurried through the deepening glow of the streetlamps. He undid the first few buttons of his starched shirt and wiped dripping sweat from around his collar. Dressing in this fashion on a muggy day that presaged the stifling heat of the summer months to come was stupidly uncomfortable. 

_Life goes on._

He absently mulled the simple truth of that oft-used cliché. It was hard to overlook. Stupid clods. After five years one would think they'd trust him more. Bureaucrats – every one of them. He hoped the Major could sort it out. He had more important things to do.

Shinji stopped short and blinked at the sudden appearance of the brightly lit, antiseptically cheerful, automated glass doors in front of him. He was late. He should have been here hours ago. His heart pounded at the ramifications of that statement. Queasily aware of the hard knot of fear in his stomach and thankful that he had been too nervous to eat lunch, Shinji walked quickly through the double doors, which opened hospitably at his first step.

A quick word with the lobby guard and he was in an elevator dinging at each floor on its way to the top.

Eighth Floor. Labor and Delivery. The sign said. Shinji gulped.

"Anou, I'm looking for…"

"You're Ikari Shinji? Thank goodness you're here!""

He nodded dumbly, not at all surprised.

He emerged from the changing room minus his street clothes barely a minute later, wound up by all the screaming he could hear from way down the hall.

"Follow me please. She started pushing twenty minutes ago." The woman smiled at Shinji's expression and led him in the direction of the cursing.

"Dummkopf! It's about bloody time! What took you so long? Did those miserable excuses for pilots give you a hard time? I called you hours ago! But did you see fit to rush to my side? Noooo… you had to take your pretty time getting your ass over here."

"Thanks, Hikari." Shinji took the redhead's hand from her and grasped it firmly.

"No problem, Shinji-kun," she winked at him. "She's all yours."

"Dammit, Shinji! I told you it wasn't safe at the time. Now look at where it's landed me? Pervert!"

"Ssshhh, tone it down a bit!" Shinji blushed a bright tomato red as the three other women in the room turned to regard him curiously. "Fuyutski and the rest of the old farts wouldn't let me leave right away."

"You should have just headed straight here."

"I almost did. But Misato-san would have killed me if I parked the thing out front, more paperwork for her. She's coming over as soon as she's done over there."

"It's coming… damn… another one's coming…!" The redhead huffed, took a deep breath, and started to bear down as she was told. The contraction lasted for a good minute, and she slumped tiredly on the bed when it passed, snorting at their words of 'good work' and 'almost there.'

"Does it hurt so much?" Baka-Shinji had the gall to ask. She raised a tired head and glared daggers at the stupid idiot. Then she hissed at him promising slow death after her ordeal. "I mean, don't you have anesthesia?" Shinji hastily amended.

"Epidural." The redhead puffed, inhaling deeply and then blowing out air through her mouth. "It helped, but it's worn off. It's too close, they can't give me another one now but it doesn't matter, I'm getting this done or my name isn't Asuka. Langley. Sohryu. Ikari." Asuka bit out, bearing down hard as another intense and uncontrollable clutch of uterine muscles fought to eject its cargo.

The pain was excruciating. But Asuka gritted her teeth and bore down with all her might, breath held, spots dancing before her eyes. It was like straining against an immovable wall. Pushing… running out of air… but still pushing… just a little more… pushing… and pushing… working with the pain… pushing… then… without warning… a sudden give… and something large sliding smoothly out.

_It was over._

The sound of the suction pump and clinking instruments reached Shinji's ears as he stared at Asuka's limp and raggedly breathing form. Her lips were turned up slightly in the corners and she was holding tiredly on to his hand. She looked spent but mildly triumphant.

_It was just beginning._

Shinji's head snapped around and with eyes still closed Asuka beamed; something new had filled the room – the wail of a newborn child taking her first breath of air.

"Shinji, I want to see…"

Shinji tried to stand but his knees wouldn't hold him. They were trembling too badly.

"Baka… go get her…" Asuka shook his hand impatiently.

He was saved from having to wobble his way to the warmer when one of the women walked over to him and thrust a bundle gently into his arms. Shinji carefully shifted it to one arm and peeked into the blankets.

Pink rosebud mouth and a shock of red hair.

She felt delicate in his awkward hands.

Small and soft. Fragile and so easily broken.

She pursed her lips, tiny chin dimpling, and looked at him with calm and alert eyes.

Shinji broke into a grin.

_Life goes on_.

Yes indeed.

* * *

A/N: When I talked about an epilogue I had no idea it would be like this. I hope you like it just the same. A tad sappy perhaps but it ends everything quite nicely, I believe. 

I'm still working on the omakes so expect more waff from those. They're set way before the epilogue though.

Arigato!

Ja!


	14. Omake 1 & 2

Disclaimer: Shinji and Asuka are not mine.

Happy White's Day!

**

* * *

Evangelion:_ Nigeru__  
_****Omake  
**03.14.2006 _**

* * *

Omake #1 **_

"Shinji, stop it!" Asuka gritted her teeth, unable to take her eyes from the screen to spare a glance at the boy.

Shinji wasn't minding her at all and only Asuka's boot heel coming down hard on his foot elicited a vacuous answer.

"Too clingy."

"Cut it out, I mean it. I can't concentrate!" The redhead suddenly leaned backwards pulling hard on the joysticks, gunning after the dodging mecha.

"Hmm…"

"Yes! Got him!" Asuka crowed, "We're even! Now it's time to teach that upstart little freshie a lesson in respect! Dammit, Shinji, quit it. This is your fault, you know. How _could_ you lose to that sniveling brat?"

"I got distracted," was the teenager's unperturbed answer. "Nice."

"Hmph, you are such a bother. I should have let you get out first." Asuka pronounced in vexation, squirming and trying to dislodge the disconcerting hand on her knee and then diving quickly behind a skyscraper for cover.

"Not my fault you were in such a hurry." The boy chuckled richly, amidst the barrage of bullets.

"You made me so mad; sitting there like a depressed mallard! Direct hit. Game over. You lose! Hello! What were you thinking?" Asuka peered out over the rim, aimed, and fired her rocket launcher.

"I told you – I was distracted. It's the dress." She felt his disobedient hand play with the hem. "Did it use to be this short? I thought it was longer."

"It's always been this length." Asuka twisted violently to avoid a blue beam of light and almost fell off Shinji's lap when the cockpit whirled to follow her movements. "Baka! If you insist on keeping your bloody hands on me at least keep me from falling."

"Sorry." Shinji answered, wrapping one arm firmly around the girl's waist.

"Shinji you lech. Don't think I can't feel that."

"Eh?" He blinked innocently. "I didn't think you'd notice."

"Sure…" the redhead mocked, shivering at the rigid warmth, she could practically feel his naughty grin radiating through her back. "Wouldn't notice, my ass!" Asuka muttered, steadfastly trying to ignore him.

"Your ass?"

"Eeek – bad pun! Down boy! Shinj – mmphh…!"

x

"I win! I WIN!"

The short kid in square wire framed glasses leaped out of the game cockpit to dance a jig. "Sempai! I killed her! Hahaha! Crazy demon loses to pipsqueak runt! Hahaha! Asuka-sempai will never live this down!"

Touji turned to the gloating high school freshman and patted him on the head. "Good work, kid, but don't get all worked up. I have a feeling you're going to pay for this win. Badly. Not today though..."

Touji left the ecstatic boy to join Hikari and Kensuke; they were creeping stealthily to the afterburner cockpit that contained their two best friends.

It sat on its laurels unnaturally silent and motionless.

"Touji-kun? Should we…?" Hikari asked, keeping a firm hand on a struggling Kensuke's collar to keep him from peeking through the window.

"Nah. Let's leave them alone and go eat lunch," was the jock's answer, placing an arm around Hikari's shoulders.

"Are you sure? You think they'll be okay?" Hikari worriedly transferred her grip from Kensuke's shirt to his ear.

Touji smirked, remembering the gleam in his friend's eye, "Yeah, they're in an arcade, it'll be fine. I mean, this is Shinji and Asuka we're talking about here and it is their anniversary and all..."

Hikari sighed and walked away with the jock, pulling a defeated Kensuke with her. "Yes, you're right. Four years… who would've thought?"

They turned their backs and missed seeing the cockpit tilt ever so slightly onto its back.

x

x

x

_Author's Notes: _Yes, they are graduating high school seniors here. I asked a Japanese friend of mine and apparently both middle school and high school in Japan have only three years (ich, ni, san; ich, ni, san).

This next omake happens way before the previous one, chronologically speaking.

_**Omake #2**_

It was a late weekend afternoon when a flushed and jubilant redhead barged noisily into Ikari Shinji's room, interrupting his subdued study of the ceiling.

He took the SDAT earplugs off, unable to help a welcoming smile at Asuka's typically dramatic arrival.

"You are looking at Asuka Langley Sohryu, Eva pilot extraordinaire!" With feet splayed apart and one hand on her hip, she winked and flashed the boy a victory sign.

"So the Commander finally crumbled, huh?"

"Right you are," the redhead abandoned her pose and flopped down on Shinji's bed, "Two months! A record! He should have known resistance is futile. No one gets in the way of Asuka Langley Sohryu; beautiful, talented, magnificent, conniving, _ehem_ – _convincing_, pilot extraordinaire!" she turned over on her back and hooted gleefully at the ceiling.

Shinji shook his head, his mood lightening considerably. He tugged gently on Asuka's hair and grinned his approval. "What?" he asked, when her eyes continued to rake him over.

"What's wrong?"

Shinji sputtered, _she can read minds now?_

"N-nothing," he replied truthfully, then he blurted out, "How'd you know?"

"I'm psychic."

Shinji paled.

"Baka! You were doing that thing with your face."

"What thing?"

"That thing where you kinda go… Never mind. Don't ask. It's hard to explain." Her eyes roved the room and spotted the tatty brown box on Shinji's desk. "Oh, you read it."

"Yeah."

"Um… want to talk?"

"No."

Shrugging and letting it go, Asuka sat up and grabbed some cards from Shinji's nightstand. "Deal, baka," she ordered handing it to him and arranging herself comfortably on the mattress.

"Which one?" Shinji shuffled obediently.

"Gin."

Shinji expertly dealt.

Night after night of playing the game had shown, unsurprisingly, Asuka's vast superiority in volume and the use of colorful language. Though she and Shinji were evenly matched when it came to the actual game.

Several premature chortles of triumph later found Shinji eyeing Asuka's latest throw atop the discard pile. He shot the competitive girl a disbelieving look.

"What?" she frowned without looking up, "Ready to give up?"

_Give up? No..._

"Asuka…" Shinji started hesitantly, "he wrote… that whenever I was near him, he caused me pain." Shinji took the discarded Ace of spades. Asuka was nodding, apparently listening. Shinji went on. "So he decided it was better to do nothing at all."

She looked at him, concerned, she didn't need to ask who _'he'_ was. "And…?"

"Er, I used to be a lot like him."

"_You _were like him?"

"But I think I understand some things better now."

She cocked an eyebrow, watching patiently as he fished a card from his hand.

"I hope he found what he was looking for. Gin."

She looked comically dismayed. "Damn."

Shinji sniggered.

"I let you win."

"No you didn't."

"Did too."

"Don't think so. I was watching you, what _were _you thinking, anyway?"

Asuka gave him an incredulous look, "Shinji, you dense twit!"

"Want another game?" he asked quickly to forestall the imminent explosion. Asuka could be especially vocal, more even than usual, when it came to his 'dense twittiness' as she called it.

She sighed once, in exasperation, then he saw her eyes soften. Then she beamed cheekily at him. "Nah, let's kiss…"

x

x

Asuka watched as Shinji's room grew steadily darker around them, and when the gloom was complete, she roused herself from her half-asleep musings to turn on the light.

She watched him squint in the flood of brightness. "Uh-oh, those are Misato-san's," he protested, indicating the cards strewn all over the bed and the floor. He got up to gather the scattered deck.

Asuka remained on the edge of the mattress, feet dangling, and chewing on her bottom lip. She watched Shinji crawl halfway under his bed gathering stray cards.

"Shinji, what's going to happen?" Asuka asked, slumping back down on her back.

"What?"

Asuka raised her voice and addressed the ceiling. "Years and years from now… do you think we'll still be together?"

"I don't know. We're only fifteen," she heard his muffled voice, "No one knows for sure what the future is."

_Baka Shinji! Why did he have to be so blunt? _Seeking to ignore the knots that his words tightened inside her chest, Asuka opened and closed her right eye; the hand in front of her face moved right then left as her vision changed perspectives. She remembered her months in Germany.

Much as she wanted to, she couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"You're right," Asuka sighed, a downhearted little sound, "I guess… a lot of things can happen."

There was a loud thump from under her. Then with startling swiftness, Shinji was before her. A knee on the bed, bent down and leaning on outstretched arms to catch her eyes.

Asuka lay surprised and immobile as he loomed over her.

"Asuka…" he said, his voice husky.

She stared at his urgent face.

"Years from now... I _want_ us to be together."

They locked gazes for a long and silent while. The warmth and surety in the boy's blue glare easing the ache in the redhead's heart.

Slowly, Asuka reached up to smooth the frown from between Shinji's brows.

Then she said softly, clearly. "Me too."

x

x

x

_

* * *

Author's Notes:_ These were mostly written during a three-day nursery stint at work, in between feedings and diaper changes of adorable, squeezable ten-pound newborn babes. (Three, to be exact.) Sumimasen! I had babies on the brain at the time… obviously. 

Hope you enjoy the waff! Till next time.

Arigato!

Sayonara!


	15. Omake 3

A/N: Short. Totally pointless fluff. _**

* * *

**_

_**Omake #3  
U.F.O. Catcher  
**_05.09.2006

* * *

"Where are you going?" 

"I can't wait here. I'll be over there."

The dark haired boy left his friends and walked quickly to the vacant game. He slipped a token into the slot and started fiddling with the buttons.

"Oh, can you get me that cute gray one with the purple eyes?" said a girl's voice from behind him.

"Sure thing," he answered easily.

She squealed in delight when he handed her the mouse.

"Me too, me too. Onegaishimasu!" Another girl bowed. "The orange cat."

"Uh, okay."

A giggle and a thank you and some tokens pressed into his hands.

"Anou, I've been trying for ages. Can you manage the redhead?"

He turned quickly at that.

"The chibi one in the hakama."

"Ah, that redhead."

Money and a plushie changed hands.

He was soon surrounded by a gaggle of girls making requests.

Minutes ticked by.

"Last one. I really have to go."

"The one in the corner, in a blue and white plugsuit."

Plugsuit? He squinted through the glass.

"Are you sure you want that?"

"Absolutely."

A press of a button.

He plunked the toy in the girl's waiting hands.

The crowd dispersed.

"Thanks." She stood on tiptoe and caught his lips.

"You're welcome." He grinned. "Want anything else?"

"Nah." She smiled prettily at him. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine."

"Let's go home, baka-Shinji."

* * *

A/N: 

onegaishimasu- please (polite, formal)  
anou- uhm  
chibi- little  
hakama- traditional Japanese clothing usually worn over a kimono; hakama cover the lower body, may be divided like trousers, and resemble a large pleated skirt


	16. Omake 4

A/N: Something I wrote several months ago that I didn't know where to post. I found it, tweaked it, and decided to put it here. Hope you like it.

Only one Japanese word here:  
**Itai**- pain, painful, or as Shinji uses it here 'Ouch!'  
**Itaiii**- Owwwwww!

**_

* * *

_Omake #4**  
05.25.2007

* * *

She couldn't stop him, Asuka thought sourly. The skinny baka was stronger than her. Stupid males and their hormones. 

Her eyes roved up his torso and drank up the sight of him as he held her arms still.

On the other hand, she amended thoughtfully, she wouldn't have this need to feel him up if it weren't for the blasted hormones in the first place.

"Shinji, let go of me. I just want to help." The redhead had been unable to refrain from running her hands up his back when she had taken off his shirt. She really _really_ missed him. Three months was just too long.

"But Asuka, you're going to start again and I won't be able to stop!" Shinji whispered looking at her askance, "Misato-san is right outside the door!" frustration obvious in his voice.

"No. I wasn't about to start anything. Unlike the last time that you were gone for months, you're not up to it. Broken ribs are much more serious than a broken arm, Shinji. You need to rest. Now let go and I'll take that off for you."

"What do you mean I'm not up to it?" The young man looked indignant. He let her go and continued in a low voice, "I am! But not when Misato-san is probably listening at the keyhole! Later." He winked at her lasciviously.

"I am married to a perverted prude." Asuka shook her head. "You can't even raise your arms without moaning." She pointed out dryly as she unbuckled his belt.

"Don't." Shinji's hand shot out to still hers again. "I'll do it myself." Asuka saw him wince and then take a couple of shallow breaths. "It's really not that painful, you know," he said, trying to look pain free and earnest.

"Heh, why don't I believe you?" The redhead grinned at her injured husband, "Shinji, I'm undressing you and putting you to bed. Nothing is going to happen, now or later. You need to heal. Now unhand me so we can get on with it."

"Not even later?" he whined.

"Sorry, maybe in a few days," she smiled, "Now stay still, I want to hug you and I might hurt you if you move too much."

Asuka gingerly put her arms around Shinji and held him as tightly as she dared. It had been a long three months apart and it brought home to her just how attached she had become to him.

"Sorry. I'll be okay. It was my fault anyway," Shinji returned the hug, trying not to flinch.

"I'm fine, as long as you're alive. Just don't forget, baka, during these selfless idiotic moments of yours, I'm not the only one here who's going to kill you if you let yourself die, ok?" Asuka tightened her hold on Shinji unwilling to even consider a future without him.

After several minutes she realized he hadn't answered.

"Shinji...?" She quickly let him go and looked into his too pale and ashen face. She shook him fiercely, alarmed, "Shinji...! Don't die on me, baka!"

"Itaiii... " he groaned, and then chuckled weakly, "Hah... ! It'll take more than a squeeze like that to kill me..."

"Don't do that again!"

"Hehehe, sorry. I think you're right. Tired now. I do need to rest."

Asuka harrumphed at him and then helped him get comfortable in bed. She sat on the edge for a while twirling his hair. Shinji cracked open one eye.

"Stop worrying. I promise I won't."

"Won't what?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I won't forget. Kiss her again for me, ok? I miss her giggling. She's as bossy as you are. I think I'll sleep for a while. I'll be better when I wake up," he leered feebly, "_then_ we'll see who's not up to it, hehehe... Owww! Don't pinch! Okay, okay, I'll rest!"

"Pervert."

"Nag."

"What did you say... ???!!!"

"Ack! It's a joke... a joke! Itaiii..."


End file.
